A Soldier's Duty
by JaerWolfe
Summary: Not all battles are to save the universe...
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This follows all of my other fics and is chronologically the last. The others are not necessary to enjoy this fic, but some characters/incidents will make more sense if you have read them. This takes place 3 months after the wedding.**_

* * *

Shepard's glared at the tank as the spider she hated moved out from its cork board home, mocking her with its alive and well state.

"It's on now." Shepard muttered as she glared at it. "This is an official Declaration of War. I defeated the Reapers, I can defeat you."

Her gaze fell on the button she used to push to get rid of her dead fish.

A contemplative eyebrow rose as a slow smile curved her lips.

Glancing at the closed bathroom door, she crossed the room and oh so casually leaned against the button with her elbow, contorting slightly to make sure she hit it right. Nothing happened. Scowling, she turned about and began punching it with her finger.

"The first thing I did was deactivate that button when I converted the tank for Rambo." Kaidan's voice was smug as he exited the bathroom, his hair wet but no towel in sight.

Shepard made a face and punched the button once more for spite before her hope completely died.

"Oh, and your attempts to tell Grunt that spiders taste better than fish and then let him hold Rambo are only going to work if you take her out of her den and down to him." Kaidan added and grinned at the shudder that went down her spine.

Shepard crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "You know the only consolation I have out of going to your parents for your dad's birthday is that I won't be anywhere near that pet thing of yours. Maybe it will die while we're gone."

All humor fell from Kaidan's expression. "What?" He said the word carefully, his body still.

Shepard paused, reacting to his sudden tension, but confused. "Your dad's birthday party next week. Your mom sent me our travel itinerary. I told her not to bother, we'd just take the Normandy. She's expecting us the day before. I wanted to get a hotel but she said you always stayed in your old room."

Kaidan's jaw clenched, his lips a thin pursed line. With angry, jerky movements, he began pulling on his BDU pants.

"What's wrong?" Shepard asked in careful tones. "I'm getting a vibe here that is confusing me."

"It's not you, it's my mother." Kaidan finally answered. Exasperation running both hands through is hair, shedding water drops on the floor. "I already told her that we wouldn't be attending my father's birthday party."

"But…" Shepard frowned, pausing. "She made it sound like you had already accepted and that it was just a foregone conclusion that we would be there."

"She manipulated you." Kaidan said grimly.

"She succeeded because I didn't know there was an issue with going to your father's birthday party." Shepard responded still watching him with wary caution. "Kaidan, I have no problem telling your mother where to go…there are nights I lay awake and think about the perfect way to say it…but I thought you got along with both of your parents."

"I do." The words were forced.

Shepard arched an eyebrow at him. "Riiiiiight. That is exactly why you're pissed off, right? Because you get along with both of them so well." She rested her hand on his as he reached for his combat boots, the touch stilling him as she knew it would. "Tell me what you're thinking, Kaidan."

He looked at her, his dark eyes holding consternation and resignation as his left hand slid up her neck to cup her nape, his thumb running roughly over her jawline. The touch seemed to soothe him and he smiled, as if something in the steady love she gazed at him with gave him the strength to answer.

"The entire family comes to my father's party." He murmured with a sigh, a tension releasing from him. "My older sisters and their husbands and children, several aunts and uncles and cousins. There is some…concern about my biotics around the children."

Shepard frowned. "What concern? Did you spank some little darling and irritate their mother?"

He laughed, the sound almost forced. "No. I saved his life."

Confusion raced across her face. "Kaidan, I need a little bit more from you because right now that little black rain cloud above you is literally getting the floor wet." She flicked her fingers through the wet strands of his hair and had him laughing.

"My parents house is beach front property, right?" He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "I was at one of Dad's parties when one of my nephews decided to teach himself to swim. Alone. The waves sucked him pretty far out before anyone noticed and reacted. I used a pull to bring him back to shore, but he was pretty far out, at the limits of my abilities at the time…I was in my early twenties. I ran out of strength and dropped him once I had him on shore. Broke his leg. His mother…was unhappy."

Shepard's eyes flashed with ire. "Unhappy that you saved her son?" Her tone was low and annoyed.

"Unhappy that I caused her son's broken leg." Kaidan tried for a nonchalant shrug, but she caught the edge of upset in his eyes. "It didn't help matters that only days before Dad's party an L2 had gone insane and attacked a public park in downtown Vancouver. There were several deaths."

"Unless you were the reason the L2 went insane, I see no reason for them to ostracize you." Shepard's voice was deadly, her expression fierce.

"No, you misunderstand." Kaidan shook his head, taking her hands in his. "They didn't ostracize me. It simply became awkward…"

"Which is a passive-aggressive reaction from people who don't want to come right out and claim that a person has been ostracized." She retorted. "Your mother and I are going to have a little chat about her going behind your back and thinking I'd go along with it, but I tell you true, Kaidan, I'm half tempted to show up and give them something to be awkward about."

His brown eyes lit and he laughed softly. "That's my Kaet. Not a passive bone in her body."

Shepard's own attention was on something completely different. "Oooohh, I could take Grunt with me. And Jack…one look at her and they'll be imagining entirely new reasons to be worried about their sons." A twisted smile lit her lips and Kaidan shook his head.

"Riling my mother isn't worth it, Kaet." He said with a chuckle. "I'll send a gift like I do every year and we won't worry about it."

Her pale eyes snapped toward him, studying him, her head tilted. "You want to go." She said abruptly.

"I don't want to upset my family…" He began shaking his head.

"Part of you thinks it will be different this time. You've saved the Citadel, saved the Universe. You think maybe they'll be proud of you now." She caught his arm as he turned away and pulled him back. "Kaidan, if you want to go, I'll have your back. If you're too worried that nothing will have changed, I have no problem bringing my Cain and giving them something to worry about. You want to stay here and let your pet thing torture me, I can handle that too. I'm here for you. Whatever the circumstances."

One corner of his mouth kicked up in a smile as he squeezed her hand. "Let me think about it, Kaet."

"You do that. I'm going to think of ways to express to your mother how unhappy I am with this latest trick of hers."

* * *

In the quiet of their cabin, the lights low, their sleep shift having started hours ago, Kaidan rolled next to her, pulling her lithe body full up against his own, wrapping his arms about her.

"Let's go." He whispered in her ear, the tension of his internal debate seeping out of him with the relief of a decision and a purpose.

Shepard's eyes cracked sleepily as a faint smile touched her lips. She nodded once and then slid back into sleep.

* * *

"You brought your Cain, didn't you?"

Shepard rolled her eyes as she stepped out of the hover, looking at the large ranch house before them. "That is the fifth time you have asked me that since we left the Normandy. Who are you and what have you done with the real Kaidan Alenko?"

"Ha ha." He answered his attention on the dock near the beach where a large group of people were laughing and playing. "Whenever we've taken leave of our own and left your Cain behind, something bad has happened. If we bring it that should mean a nice, normal, vacation."

She gave him a questioning glance as she let the hover's door fall shut. Usually she was the one with the nutty ideas and took it as a sign of his nerves about being here that he was offering them now.

"Hey, swimming!" She said suddenly, a smile lighting up her face. "I get you mostly naked in a public place!"

He laughed, shaking his head at her before snagging both his duffle and hers from the storage area of the hover.

"Oh, you laugh now, but let me tell you there have been times I have debated abusing my power as Captain of the Normandy to institute Naked Kaidan Alenko Fridays." She informed him with utter seriousness.

He gripped both bags in one hand and wrapped his other arm about her waist. "We both know that so long as Chambers is on board you will never do that."

"I've been meaning to get rid of her…" Shepard slid her own arm around him…with a sneak squeeze on his left buttock as her hand passed that way. "So you grew up here?" She looked around at all the green and shook her head slightly. They both may have been raised on Earth, but that was where any similarity ended.

The grounds were meticulously cultivated…probably by sheer force of Mrs Alenko's will…and actual wood fence posts framed the driveway and the corral beyond. Shepard could see an Eco-Habitat dome over a portion of the back yard, probably where Mrs Alenko kept her fish, and made a vow to go nowhere near them for their own sake.

"Some of it, yes." Kaidan nodded. "It was a bit of a shock leaving this to go to Brain Camp."

She knew for a fact that hadn't been the only shock about his being taken to Jump Zero, but she let it go.

"Kaidan." Mrs. Alenko's voice spoke from behind them.

Both turned and watched the older woman continue her way up from the beach, a smile trembling about her lips.

"If you ever again go behind his back and manipulate us in ways that could cause conflict between us, you will not like the consequences." Shepard stated in flat tones of utter seriousness.

Mrs Alenko's smile faded to polite welcome. "I understand." She said with a nod.

"You might understand, but you don't believe." Shepard's eyes were piercing with intent. "Do not get me wrong, Anna, I can be every bit as manipulative and stubborn as you and I will treat every threat to my marriage very seriously. You knew he didn't want to come and you used me to force the issue. That will never happen again."

Mrs Alenko glanced at Kaidan who simply looked back at her. The smile on her lips became genuine.

"I will not set you against each other again." She said with an almost proud nod of her head.

Shepard gave her a brilliant grin. "Lovely place you have here, Mrs Alenko. We're so happy to be here."

Kaidan gave his wife a questioning look that deepened as his mother laughed. "Did I miss something?" He asked.

"Your wife, being the soldier she is, was simply drawing the battle lines, Kaidan." Mrs Alenko said. "With that out of the way, each of us knowing where we stand, we can all actually enjoy the rest of the week rather than jockey for the dominant position."

"It's chick speak for calling a truce, Kaidan." Shepard informed him. "Don't you worry your precious little head about it." She patted his rear where his mother couldn't see.

Kaidan rubbed his forehead as if the beginnings of a migraine were forming.

"I took the liberty of exchanging the twin bed in your room for a king, Kaidan." Mrs Alenko continued on her way to the house, the command to follow implicit in that she continued to talk as if they were right beside her. "I hope that will make you both comfortable."

Kaidan pinched Shepard's waist before she could say anything. "I'm sure it's fine, Mom. I see both Mai and Elspeth and their families made it."

"Yes, you and Kaet were the last. Everyone has been expecting you." Mrs Alenko opened the front door.

Shepard turned, her gaze going to the beach where several pairs of eyes watched them and none tried to join them. "I can see they're all beside themselves to say hello." There was an edge in her tone.

Mrs Alenko paused and turned to the younger woman. "You'll forgive them if they are a bit…intimidated by your presence."

"Mine or Kaidan's?" She retorted.

"Shepard." Kaidan said in a warning tone.

Shepard didn't back down, her pale eyes staring at Mrs Alenko. The older woman's own eyes twinkled and in their depths Shepard found something unexpected.

Hope.

For the first time since hearing Kaidan's reluctance to go to his father's party, the angry belligerence in Shepard died. There was something else going on here.

"You are both heroes. You both saved the universe." Mrs Alenko murmured. "That can be pretty intimidating for common folk."

"Are you common folk or family?" Shepard asked, her head tilted in thoughtful study of the other woman.

Mrs Alenko squeezed Shepard's hand once before letting go and entered the house. "Kaidan's room is upstairs."

The house may have been impeccable at one point but now there were toys scattered about the rooms, articles of clothing simply tossed here and there. A small child was crawling across the floor and had Shepard frowning until a teenager with long hair and Kaidan's eyes moved into view.

Shepard gave a nod of greeting.

The teenager lost all color in her face, scooped up the child and disappeared back into the depths of the room.

"That better have been because she was afraid I'd eat that baby." Shepard muttered as she felt Kaidan tense at her side.

Kaidan gave her a smile that was meant to be reassuring and ended up a fail. "We can reassess our options in the morning." He finally said, taking her hand.

"There are rather fierce stories about you, Commander Shepard." Mrs Alenko reminded her. "Don't be surprised if some of the more unsavory ones…like you punching your enemies through the windows of high rise buildings…have made their way about the children."

"I did that _once_ and seriously, he had it coming." Shepard pointed out in righteous tones.

"I'm sure he did." Mrs Alenko said with a harmless smile. "Just as I am sure you will not need to resort to such tactics here."

"Don't bet the farm on that one, sister." Shepard muttered back under her breath only to give a bright meaningless smile when Mrs Alenko frowned at her.

"Here we are." Mrs Alenko gave Shepard another warning look before stepping back and motioning into the room.

"Why are there mostly naked Asari holos all over the walls?" Shepard asked in tight tones as she entered, her gaze moving about the scantily clad and dancing figures.

Kaidan flushed a deep red. "I'll, uh…" He trailed off pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "Take those down." The last was mumbled as he quickly moved across the room.

"And destroy them." Shepard advised with a pointed glare, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Aye, aye, ma'am." Kaidan muttered with a roll of his eyes.

The room was a teenage boy's haven. Shepard's gaze narrowed as she looked about the surprisingly large area Kaidan had grown up in. An actual shelf with paper books rested in one corner, the top of it covered with action figures, some showing daring space pirates with guns while others paid homage to barbarians with swords from ages past. Each 'hero' had a damsel in distress he was protecting from some gruesome creature. Shoes and jackets Kaidan had long since outgrown were in the closet but no dust covered them. A sports trophy hung from a ribbon over the bed. An old tech console, pulled apart and in pieces was scattered across a work table. Everything looked as if he had stepped out the door a boy only to step back in a man.

This wasn't a room…it was a shrine.

Shepard's gaze slanted toward Mrs Alenko. The older woman had been watching her reaction and gave a small nod.

"I'll leave you two to get settled in. You've arrived late so supper has already been served, but if you're hungry I can fix something up." Mrs Alenko paused until two negative shakes of their heads answered her before continuing. "Well enough. I'll introduce you to the rest of the family in the morning." She paused as if searching for something more to say and then simply nodded and retreated, shutting the door behind her.

"Hey, my old holo-comic collection." Kaidan laughed as he headed for the closet and the data files inside a box.

"Kaidan, when was the last time you actually lived in this room?" Shepard asked, her fingers touching a toy model of one of the Alliance's first space worthy crafts.

"Before Brain Camp." He answered absentmindedly. "How much of this stuff do you think we can fit on the Normandy?"

"If we get rid of your spider pet thing and put some shelves in…quite a bit." Shepard said blinking innocent eyes in his direction.

"Nice try." Kaidan slanted a brief glance her way before turning his attention back to the closet.

Shepard moved to the paper books, unsurprised to find the complete works of Edgar Rice Burroughs, Robert Howard and David Weber. Other authors, mostly with space themes, also held places of honor.

"You didn't live here after Brain Camp?" Shepard asked moving to the toy collection, her finger carefully running over dustless biceps of an improbably large barbarian.

Kaidan shook his head, still more focused on the closet full of treasures. "After they shut BAaT down I wandered around a bit. Mostly worked odd tech jobs at different spaceports and moved on when I was tired of the area. Never really came back here. I signed up with the Alliance when I was 22 and only came back for short visits. Just kept in contact with messages."

Shepard looked around the room, it's immaculately clean snapshot of a boy's life and began to understand why Mrs Alenko had taken such a risk in manipulating her to get them here.

"I'll stow our gear." Shepard murmured picking up their duffle bags.

"Are we staying?" Kaidan looked up at her, his hands full of files.

She smiled. "If only so you can go down memory lane with your things, yeah."

He grinned and went back to sorting through his files.

* * *

Shepard woke up alone and hungry.

Either was a reason to be grumpy but as she dressed…in her casual BDUs…she decided she was going to make a very concerted effort to be cheerful and happy…and not in the shoot everything in sight way. No matter how much she was tempted.

Making her way down the stairs she entered the kitchen and had a slow smile curve over her lips. Bent over, the curved muscles of his butt nicely outlined in a pair of jeans, was the man she'd been missing.

Crossing the room on silent feet she cupped a generous handful for a firm squeeze.

"There is my favorite sight in the Universe." She purred.

"Really? Because yesterday, you told me it was mine." Kaidan's voice, full of humor, spoke from behind her.

Shepard turned about, confused. Kaidan stood in the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, trying to look stern through the laughter brimming on his face.

"You remember my father, don't you, Shepard?" He asked with a grin motioning toward the man accessing the fridge.

Color surged up her face as she jerked back several steps and watched a smiling Ken Alenko straighten up from the fridge, juice in hand.

"Good morning, Commander Shepard." Ken's deep voice greeted, a twinkling smile lighting his eyes.

"Excuse me." Shepard responded, her face frozen with crimson humiliation. "I have to go change my name and my face and pretend we have never met."

Kaidan burst into laughter wrapping his arms about her from behind and holding her still. "Not a chance, Shepard."

"That was the about the best birthday present I could have received." Ken agreed, another slow smile curving his lips.

Shepard tried to bury her face in her hands but Kaidan held her arms down, still laughing. "This is why Udina gets ulcers every time I go out in public."

"No, it's usually because you're heavily armed when you go out into public. Not because you're groping men that aren't me." He laughed at her.

"Would you care for some juice, Commander Shepard? Freshly squeezed this morning." Ken gave her a bland look, his blue eyes twinkling as Kaidan lost it completely.

"No. Thank. You." Shepard responded in icy tones, slamming her elbow into Kaidan's gut.

"Well, someone woke up on the right side of the bed." Mrs Alenko came into the room smiling. "Did I miss something?"

Another flow of intense red bloomed on Shepard's face as Kaidan started laughing harder.

"Nothing worth mentioning." She managed to say, glaring at her husband. "Quit it!"

"Kaet was just demonstrating how similar Kaidan and I are in appearance." Ken greeted his wife with a kiss on her forehead.

Mrs Alenko studied each of them, Kaidan and his father laughing, Shepard's embarrassment and a slow smile curved her lips. "I believe I mentioned that Kaidan resembled his father, Kaet."

"Yes. Now I need to go someplace else and never come back." Shepard responded but Kaidan didn't let her go.

"Stay. I'll protect my father from you." He said with a broad grin that earned him another jab with her elbow. "You need to eat something, Shepard. Or else you get grumpy."

"Hah! You're a fine one to talk!" Shepard retorted but gave in.

"I have a high metabolism, you're just spoiled." Kaidan grinned at her moving her toward the table.

The same female teenager from yesterday entered the kitchen with a big smile on her face and froze as she caught sight of Shepard and Kaidan. Once again all the color drained from her. Without a word she turned and disappeared.

"Mai's youngest." Mrs Alenko said as if nothing wrong had occurred. "Her name is Shayla."

"Does she speak?" Shepard asked in rude tones and Kaidan shook his head before retreating to the kitchen once more.

"Yes. And frequently it's about joining the Alliance so she can be you." Mrs Alenko answered, a disarming smile on her face. "For the past three years she has dressed like you for every Halloween."

Shepard blinked. "Oh." She said, not sure how to take that.

Kaidan returned with two plates heavily laden with eggs, bacon and hash browns. Shepard's eyes lit up.

"I am so keeping you." She told him reaching for one of the plates.

"These are mine, go get your own." He answered dodging her hands.

Shepard scowled and smacked him on the arm before he placed one plate in front of her with a laugh and sat down.

"Do you fish, Kaet?" Ken asked sitting down at the head of the table, juice in hand, his dark blue eyes watching her with humor.

"No, she just puts in them in an aquarium and kills them with extreme prejudice." Kaidan responded and earned another smack from her.

"I have never fished." Shepard answered before diving into the eggs with her fork.

"Would you like to learn?" Ken sipped from his cup, watching her. "I'm planning on an early morning excursion tomorrow. You're welcome to come."

"Can she shoot them with her Widow?" Kaidan asked and caught her hand before the blow could land on his arm again. While holding that hand he used his free one to steal some of her bacon off her plate and pop the strips into his mouth.

Shepard narrowed her gaze at him but he just smiled at her. "I would love to learn how to fish." She answered Ken as her loose hand slid beneath the table next to Kaidan.

Kaidan went completely still.

Biting back a smile, Ken nodded. "Good. Will you be coming, Kaidan?"

Clearing his throat, trying to shift away from Shepard, Kaidan shook his head. "No thanks. I was never a big fan of fishing."

"But you can catch things." Shepard purred at him, leaning closer to him.

"Kaidan is more than welcome to help me work the horses." Mrs Alenko said an expression of disapproval on her face.

Shepard smiled at her mother-in-law as if daring her to say anything. Mrs Alenko raised a cup of tea to her lips and sipped.

"Good…morning." The greeting was enthusiastic and then stilted as the woman giving it entered the room and caught sight of Kaidan.

"Shepard, this is my oldest sister, Mai." Kaidan introduced, his hand carefully placing Shepard's by her plate. "Mai, my wife, Kaet Shepard."

Shepard immediately noted the careful tone in his voice, all of the humor gone, contained and knew that this was the mother who'd blamed him for saving her son.

"Call me Shepard." She said and ignored the looks both Kaidan and Mrs Alenko sent her way.

"You didn't take his last name?" Mai asked in arched tones, her eyes, so much like Kaidan's, holding condemnation.

"Mai." Mrs Alenko's voice was sharp.

"Actually, I did, legally." Shepard responded, her expression sharp. "But being called Mrs Alenko terrifies me for some reason so we usually just leave it as Shepard."

Mrs Alenko favored Shepard with a glance that said she wasn't amused.

"How nice for you." Mai answered.

"We missed you at the wedding." Shepard said lacing her fingers beneath her chin, elbows on the table as she leaned forward and gazed at the older woman with intense eyes. "And I rarely miss. Ask anyone."

"Shepard." Kaidan's voice held a warning that she ignored.

Mai's nostrils flared as if she had just caught the scent of something unpleasant before her gaze moved to her mother. "The children and I will be taking breakfast at the guest house."

"There's no need, Mai." Kaidan said quietly. "I'll be done…"

"Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." Shepard cut him off, her tones intentionally hostile, her gaze never leaving the woman at the door. "We'll be here the rest of the week, too, so if you want to continue this childish little avoidance game, you should plan accordingly."

"Shepard…" Kaidan began again.

"No."Shepard's pale eyes, furious and determined, met his own. "You were invited. You have as much right to be here as she does. If she wants to hide, that's fine. She wants to 'protect' her children from you, peachy. But you will not take one step you don't want to, either to accommodate or reinforce her psychosis. Or I will kick your ass."

"Perhaps we should discuss your language, Kaet." Mrs Alenko murmured picking up her cup once more.

Shepard gave the older woman an alarmed look that had Kaidan smiling.

"Protecting my children is my upmost priority." Mai's brown eyes were furious. "To have you denigrate it as 'childish' is to be deliberately obtuse."

Arching an eyebrow, Shepard smiled, the gesture more dangerous than humorous and showing a lot of teeth. "Protecting this universe is one of my upmost priorities and I have done exceptionally well because I had your brother at my side _protecting_ me. To have you denigrate his abilities and his skills as well as his priorities is to be deliberately insulting and shows that you have no interest in him as a person, but only as a boogey man that you can scare your children into polite behavior with."

Mai reeled back as if struck. "That is not true!"

"Really?" Shepard's chin lifted. "What's his favorite color? Song? What is his dream, Mai? Do you know one thing about your brother other than his name?"

"He has an incredibly bitchy wife!" Mai snapped back.

"Irrelevant to the discussion at hand." Shepard retorted with a dismissing flick of the fingers of her left hand. "But I'll give it to you as a freebie."

"How about I give you both one?" Kaidan's voice was tight. "He doesn't like people he cares for discussing him as if he wasn't there when he's in the room."

"I think the conversation has gone as far as it needs to at this moment." Mrs Alenko also intervened. "Mai, you and your family are perfectly welcome to eat in the guest house, but the birthday dinner will be held here, in our home and Kaidan and Kaet will be in attendance."

Mai turned on her heel and stomped out of the room.

"I love these eggs." Shepard said as if nothing had happened, her fork diving in for more.

Kaidan gave her an exasperated look before pushing back from the table and taking his own plate back to the kitchen as if he were no longer hungry enough to eat.

Shepard continued to chew her food, but her eyes watched him until he could no longer be seen. At that moment her gaze flashed to Mrs Alenko.

"I know why we're here. I'm not happy about it, but I understand it." Shepard said carefully, her attention alternating with Kaidan's silent father. "Now let me be clear…I will only push him so far to face this family. This is hurting him and I hate that. I hate and resent that I am helping you hurt him. So you get your act clear or I will take him out of here faster than you can blink."

"Do you think this is any easier for us?" Ken finally spoke, his expression holding an edge of anger. "This is the closest Kaidan has allowed us in years."

"Then don't allow your other children to mess it up." Shepard flung back. "If you choose them over Kaidan again that will be it as far as I'm concerned."

"We would never choose one child over another!" Mrs Alenko burst out with indignation, bright spots of color on her cheeks.

Shepard gave her a very focused gaze, one the other woman couldn't bear to meet. "Mai didn't learn to be afraid of Kaidan on her own. Someone taught her. Whether it was the two of you or not_, I don't care_. All I care about is the results. She is afraid of him. Without reason. And at some point, that fear was reinforced and validated by you. So fix it." She shoved back from the table and picked up her plate, following after Kaidan.

"We're trying." Ken said quietly as she reached the doorway to the dining room.

Shepard's pale eyes speared him. "That is the only reason I am along for the ride in this."


	2. Chapter 2

"So I hear you're causing trouble."

Shepard paused in her perusal of a family holo set on a desk in a family room and glanced over at an older, dark haired woman who looked enough like Mrs Alenko to cause a shiver to run down her spine.

"I'm Elspeth." The friendly, open smile was given as she extended a hand and approached.

Pale eyes considered the other woman with careful deliberation, not missing the faint tremor in the fingers reaching out to shake her hand. With abrupt decision, Shepard clasped that hand in a shake.

"Shepard." She said with a neutral expression.

Elspeth burst into laughter, her petite but well curved frame all but bouncing with mirth. "I know. Mai was very put out at that. Like we weren't good enough for your first name."

Shepard simply smiled.

The laughter faded under that silent statement. "Oh." Elspeth said, her nervousness all back.

"Don't worry about it. Kaidan and I were sleeping together before he earned the right to call me by my first name." Shepard chuckled before her gaze returned to the holos of the family. "Quite a big brood you have." Her fingers flicked over a picture of two parents and five children.

Elspeth stepped forward determinedly and nodded. "That's my husband, Rhys. The youngest, Alayna, then Alyssa. Marguerite is our preteen and her sweet sixteen sister is Jacobia. Our oldest, the boy you were studying when I came in, is Kaidan. We call him Kaid for short."

Shepard slanted a glance toward the jutted chin and fierce expression on the proud mother's face. "Call me Kaet." She said easily before running her finger over the holo image of the teenage Kaidan, enlarging and studying the picture. "He looks like his uncle."

"It's been years since I've had anything but news holos to compare them with." Elspeth said quietly. "Thank you for bringing Kaidan home."

"How old were you when Kaidan was taken to Brain Camp? BAaT?" Shepard asked restoring the picture to its original view with a flick of her nail.

"Fifteen." Elspeth answered. "Mai was the oldest, seventeen. She always blamed herself for Kaidan being taken away." She moved to another image, that of a younger Mai standing sullenly in a group photo with Ken and Mrs Alenko and Elspeth.

"She should add him staying away to that little guilt trip." Shepard said without pity and earned herself a sharp glare.

"It's easy for you to judge. You weren't here. You don't know what it was like." Elspeth snapped, her fists clenching.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Shepard considered that statement long enough for Elspeth's nervousness to return in full force.

"You have a valid point." Shepard finally acknowledged. "So tell me what it was like."

Elspeth, fingers twitching as if they needed something to do, moved one of the back family pictures, an older one with a younger version of the woman that held it and had a smiling teenage Kaidan sitting among the rest of the Alenkos.

Shepard gave a light laugh of delight. "Oh, I so need a copy of that. He's so geeky cute!" She reached forward and tapped the picture, enlarging just his image to the frame. "Look how skinny he is! His hair is longer, not military reg. Doesn't have that weird bump thing it does going on. Chin scar is missing, too."

"He got that at BAaT, I don't know how." Elspeth was smiling at Shepard's enthusiasm. "We don't know a lot of what happened to him then. Just that he…killed that alien. That they closed it because of that."

Shepard snorted, her attention more on tapping commands into her omni-tool as she looked at the image of Kaidan rather than on the woman speaking. "Best thing that could have happened to that place. Idiots."

Elspeth shook her head. "I can't imagine Kaidan killing anyone."

Shepard gave the older woman a frowning glance. "You do know he's been in the military for the last several years, right? The military likes to kill things it deems hostile. And then there was that whole Reaper incident that he was in with me. Lots of killing got done then."

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, Kaet." Elspeth's temper rose, but her body seemed to be more contained, more controlled. "I know that alien was hardly the last kill my brother made. But the boy you see in that image? That boy could never have killed. BAaT did that to him!"

"No." Shepard tossed back, her gaze fierce. "His family cutting him off, abandoning him, did that. Brain Camp simply put Kaidan in a position where the choice had to be made. Survive or be killed."

"They told us he was dangerous. That his powers could kill us. That he needed to be taken away for his own safety as well as ours." Elspeth's defended. "We didn't know anything about biotics! We believed them!"

Confusion showed on Shepard's face. "What does him having biotics have to do with it? You say the boy in that image could never have killed, but you sent him away because you thought he would kill you just because he was biotic? Make up your mind!"

"I never thought Kaidan would harm us!" Elspeth actually stepped forward, her face pushing toward Shepard. "Never!"

"Then why treat him like you do?" Shepard's voice was just as fierce. "Like he should be ashamed or hide from you who he is? You want me to understand, but you make no sense!"

"You don't want to understand, you just want to make us the bad guys that you have to defend him from!" Elspeth answered before raising shaking fingers to her forehead. "You want it to be an easy, black and white answer that you can deride. There wasn't an easy answer! All we had were bad choices to make."

Shepard paused, her lips compressed together, breathing through her nose as she studied the other woman. Stepping back, offering her space to calm down, Shepard gave a short, crisp nod.

"You're right." The words were terse and not happy. "I do want it to be an easy answer. I like easy answers. I like it when all I have to do is kill the bad guy, not empathize with them. More than anything, I want to fix it for Kaidan so I don't have to see him hurting the way being around those who should love him best is hurting him. But this?" Shepard's fingers waved about the images of a smiling family. "This I can't fix. All I can do is try and make it not hurt so much for him."

Tears seeped slowly out of Elspeth's eyes as her gaze followed Shepard's fingers. A wan smile touched her lips as she approached and selected a single image from the group and held it up. "He was the baby of the family, you know." The smile grew fuller and firmer as she looked down at the sleeping infant. "Mai thought he was hers, Mom just got to take care of the more nasty parts of being a baby. She didn't like strangers near him, didn't like anyone to touch him without her permission. Including Dad." Elspeth chuckled. "They couldn't get her to sleep in her own room for the longest time after Kaidan was born. She would camp out on the floor near his bio-crib and watch over him. Losing him hit her the hardest."

"Why?" Shepard demanded, the question flat. "Why lose him? I don't _understand_."

"It wasn't something that happened overnight!" Elspeth flung back. "Kaidan started showing his biotics early. Mom and Dad didn't even know he was doing it at the time, they just knew strange stuff happened around him when he was a baby. He'd glow blue and a shelf would get knocked off a wall or a door would slam."

Shepard blinked. "That's pretty good raw power for a baby." She mused with admiration.

"As he got older…" Elspeth gave a half shrug. "We just sort of accepted it. Mom and Dad didn't even tie it to the accident that happened while she was in Singapore and pregnant with Kaidan, they were told that's what happened when those men came to get Kaidan. Official policy at the time of the accident was that no harmful contaminants had been released in the tanker crash."

"Politics in action." Shepard said with a shrug and wandered through the photos once again, her interest on the snapshots of Kaidan's childhood.

Elspeth laughed and motioned to another image with a pre-teen Kaidan sitting on the floor next to a younger version of herself. "He used to make my dolls float about for me. Of course he used to pull my hair and trip me and move chairs as I was sitting down as well."

Shepard gave a sputtering laugh. "Guess he wasn't always a boy scout, hmm?"

Elspeth's smile faltered as she gave Shepard an uncertain look. "He…doesn't play tricks like that anymore?"

Blinking, color surging up in her cheeks as she tried to maintain a poker face and failed, Shepard licked her lips. "Not those kinds of tricks, no."

For a moment Elspeth seemed surprised and then she burst into a peal of laughter even as color spotted her own cheeks. "I see."

"Yeah, I'm changing the subject now." Shepard stated in implacable tones. "I was raised on the streets. Ran with a gang as a child and teenager. When we found someone with biotics…which was rare…we actively recruited them or actively killed them if we couldn't recruit them. We wanted their powers to be used for us and took steps to make sure they weren't used against us." Memories darkened her pale eyes and she shook her head, the war of her childhood an old wound. "I'm getting the vibe that this wasn't the case for you."

Elspeth shook her head. "No. Kaidan didn't advertise what he could do, but he didn't hide it either. At first, when the reports about biotics started coming out, the attention mortified him. He was a bit of nerd, always taking things apart, rebuilding them. All of the sudden, everyone knew who that geeky Alenko kid was who could move things with his mind. It wasn't a big deal at first. Then the rumors started. Some kid had been shoved in front of a hover at some other school because some kid with biotics didn't like him. Another had drowned in the pool at a rec center and they suspected biotics because the kid had recently been in a fight with one. Vicious things, terrible things. Always about biotics."

Shepard's pale eyes flared with controlled anger.

Elpeth, her attention more on the photos in front of her, didn't notice. "About then we started hearing that biotics was witch power and religious extremists started protests against the children showing the power. They'd find out where they lived, who played with them and were vicious. Then fringe Wicca groups threatened to sue saying biotics were claiming to be part of their religious beliefs and they weren't. It was a mess. Every day it was something new."

"Children, egged on by parents, aren't subtle about their prejudices." Shepard murmured, her fingers brushing over a young Kaidan's cheek in an image of him standing next to a tall horse. "There would have been violence."

Elspeth nodded. "The school wanted to pull Kaidan out, it was getting so bad. Kaidan refused. All of his friends had already taken off, afraid to be near him. It was just pure cussedness that kept him going. Until they showed up to take him away."

Shepard's gaze flickered to the woman standing next to her. "Tell me."

A shrug moved Elspeth's shoulders. "I wasn't there. I only heard about it afterwards. Kaidan was gone by the time I got home."

"You never got to say goodbye?" Shepard's expression creased with disbelief.

Elspeth's eyes filled. "The next time I saw my baby brother, Kaet, he was a man and he'd killed."

Shepard looked at the pictures again, the oldest child in Elspeth's family who went by Kaid. "There are no words for how wrong that was." She murmured with a shake of her head. "Tell me about Mai. Tell me why you named a child after Kaidan and Mai won't even be in the same room with him."

"What do you know about guilt, Kaet?" Elspeth countered with a twisted, sardonic smile.

Taking the question literally, Shepard shrugged. "Wasted emotion. If something is broken, fix it. If you can't, accept it and move on. Feeling guilty is a waste of time and energy."

Elspeth's mouth dropped open slightly as she stared at the taller woman. "What about something you've damaged? Surely you'd feel guilt for that!"

"No." Shepard shook her head. "And trust me, I've damaged a lot of things. And people. And aliens. Most had it coming. Those that didn't…guilt won't repair what was done. I simply try to do better next time."

"How nice it must be to live in your world!" Elspeth shook her head in disbelief. "The rest of us mere mortals have guilt."

"Yeah and most of you wallow in it and then wear it like a hair shirt. Pisses me off sometimes." Shepard gave a one shoulder shrug. "But we're talking about Mai, not about my idiosyncrasies. Mai's behavior as a child was vastly different toward Kaidan than what it is now. She watched over him, protected him, played the big sister. What changed?"

"Backlash of being the older sister of the 'Blue Glowy Freak'." Elspeth said and from the stiffening in her own frame, Shepard knew that Mai hadn't been the only one to suffer it. "You know how sweet and pure teenage girls are."

Shepard gave a snort of derision. "At least I was honest about doing vicious harm as a teenager. Most of my kills were clean, too. I never went in for that torture crap."

"You killed as a teenager?" Elspeth blurted, startled.

Waving a hand, Shepard shook her head. "This isn't about me, it's about Mai and Kaidan. Focus."

Elspeth was quiet a moment and sighed. "She wanted him to stop going to school, stop putting himself in a position to be ridiculed and tormented. She couldn't understand why he wouldn't back down. Neither could I."

"Kaidan's a hero." Shepard answered softly. "He can't back down in the face of what he considers evil. That would mean the evil has won."

"As an adult I can see that. As a sister to Kaidan and a mother to a boy who looks so much like him…it tears me apart, Kaet." Elspeth shook her head, hands tossing in helplessness. "Mom stopped sleeping and we couldn't get Dad away from the damn lake. Mom finally told him if he brought home any more fish she was going to make him swim with them. We were in such turmoil and we were young and didn't understand. When you don't understand you blame the cause, not always understanding they may be the victim as well. And then a solution shows up as a couple of men in suits who say they can 'cure' him. Make him better. Not dangerous. You take it."

"Never believing they might have been the ones to cause the fear and persecution to begin with." Shepard gave a slow nod.

Elspeth's eyes widened. "Wha…no. They wouldn't have done that. Not for Kaidan." Shepard said nothing, her pale eyes simply watching the older woman. "_Why?_ Why would they turn everyone against him? Why…no." She shoved her hands down and away in denial. "No. You're wrong and you don't know a damn thing!"

Shepard watched the older woman stomp out of the room. "Let's see, I've been here less than twenty-four hours and managed to molest my father-in-law, insult one sister-in-law and piss off another." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I need to be nicer to Udina. This diplomatic crap is tough."

* * *

She found Kaidan by tracking his omni tool and stood at the base of one of the largest trees she had ever seen in her life, looking up at a tree house large enough to contain at least a quarter of the Normandy crew.

Frowning, she circled the base of the tree, assessing the construction and quality of the workmanship, trying to decide if it was tough enough to support her weight. With a final shake of her head, she moved to the knotted rope dangling below a square in the floor and hand over hand she rose until she could pull herself up into the interior.

Kaidan was watching her as he cleaned the blade of his knife off on his pant leg before sliding it back into the sheathe on his belt. He was leaning back against a wall, one leg outstretched, the other bent at the knee, his wrist resting on the top, trying to act casual. Shepard gave him a questioning glance as she pulled her legs up.

"Whacha doin'?" She asked brushing her rope roughened palms on the back pockets of her BDUs.

"Remembering." He motioned for her to join him and she happily did so, turning her body until her back was leaning against his bent leg and her neck supported by his arm. He pulled her closer to his chest. Once she was settled he grabbed her hand and entwined his fingers through her own, stroking her palm. "I spent a lot of time in here as boy. The world couldn't touch me here."

For a boy being actively persecuted for something he was born with, that would have been very important...having a safe haven. Someplace to sit and dream of a better future.

Shepard glanced around the enclosed interior, her gaze assessing. "You know, I thought these things were just myths."

Kaidan arched an eyebrow at her. "Tree houses?"

"Yeah. I thought they were just pretend things people always waxed nostalgic about but nobody really did. Did you build this?" Shepard motioned about.

"Mostly my Dad." Kaidan gave a shrug.

"Where are the mostly naked Asari dancers?"

He laughed. "Somewhere my wife, with her most excellent aim, will never find them."

Shepard grinned at him. "And they say husbands can't be trained." Deciding she'd looked at the wood enough, her gaze moved to his face. "How are you doing?"

Inhaling deeply, he leaned his head back against the wall. "I think this was a mistake."

"Hope's never a mistake, Kaidan." She murmured sliding a hand up his chest to cup his jaw, her thumb brushing over the beginning stubble.

"I wanted them to love you." He said abruptly. "To adore you, the way I do."

Of course he did, Shepard mused closing her eyes against the sudden spark of tears. If they adored her then he hoped that maybe some of that love would wash onto him. "Yeah, well, we both know I'm not the easiest person to love."

He laughed, his brown eyes twinkling. "Actually, I find it pretty easy to love you, Kaet. Living with you…especially when you shoot at me…is an entirely different matter."

"It's your stupid spider's fault!" Shepard answered hotly. "I swear it stays awake late at night staring at me, just waiting for the right moment to jerk me around!"

"The woman Reapers feared, Collectors trembled in front of and countless other bad guys in the Universe lose sleep worrying will come after them can't handle a spider." Kaidan chuckled, a smile that didn't reach his eyes on his lips.

Shepard considered him for a long quiet moment. "If we had a place of our own…a place not on the Normandy…we could put Rambo in a different room. One I can pretend doesn't exist."

Kaidan's attention snapped to her, his expression suddenly intense as he searched her expression. "You mean that, don't you. A place that's ours."

She nodded, her fingers running over the wiry hairs on his forearm curved over her stomach. "It took me a bit to notice you're not quite as at ease with the vagabond life as I am. I'll watch you look around the cabin, tense up and then force yourself to relax. Like you just need some space. Some place to stretch. A place to call home."

"You are all I need to be home, Kaet." He murmured shoving strands of hair behind her ears.

"No. I'm not. But I do thank you for the compliment." She smiled with self-deprecation. "You need roots. You were raised to sink them deep and hold the land firm. Events interfered, but there is a definite…I guess glow works, for lack of a better word…about you since we got here. Even through all the family drama, there is a part of you that is so happy to be here."

He clutched her tighter to his chest, resting his chin on her head.

"Mind you, I don't want to live in the same time zone as your mother…possibly not even the same planet. Or solar system." Shepard continued in plaintive tones. "I was thinking something bigger than your bachelor's apartment on the Citadel. Since you have to coordinate with Udina and Anderson and I usually need to pretend to listen to the Council when they tell me how to do something they want done. Maybe later, after we both get tired of the politics in our lives, we'll find something like this." She flickered the fingers of her hand about, encompassing more than the tree house they were in. "But something bigger, something we can both call ours and stretch in, that would be good."

He said nothing for a long moment, simply breathing as he held her before he finally responded. "Thank you."

She turned her head and pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then smiled, smacking his leg. "Come on. I'm feeling itchy."

"Shepard, we are not having sex in this tree house where a child could come up at any time." Kaidan informed her, but his lips curved.

"If we were, I'd get top. No splinters in my bum, please and thank you." Shepard responded with a grin as she moved off him and toward the exit. "But, no, I was actually thinking about going swimming."

Kaidan laughed . "For someone who lives in space, you sure do love water."

"Maybe I just like seeing you in as few clothes as possible, ever think of that?" She quipped with a laugh. "See you at the bottom!" She stepped casually into air, disdaining the rope and quickly fell, landing easily on the soft grass.

She looked up and caught the faint expression of worry on Kaidan's face as he looked down at her from the tree house and gave him a cocky grin.

"I dare you to fly." She challenged raising her voice.

He shook his head. "It's not a good idea, Shepard."

It took a bit, but she schooled her anger from her face. "If you think you're going to spend the next four days hiding your biotics…_your natural abilities_…you are in for a sad reality check, Kaidan Alenko. You're also in for a world of stubbornness from me." She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him.

Kaidan flared blue, the mist rising about his body, swirling a dark and sullen blue as he began a controlled, slow descent from the tree house, his hands holding calm at his side as he gently touched down. "I'm trying to be circumspect."

"Why?" She answered with annoyance. "Education is the best cure for ignorance. They know only the fear of what a biotic out of control can do. So show them what a biotic with far too much control can do."

Inhaling a deep breath, Kaidan looked away from her for a long moment, thinking before his attention slowly returned to her. "I get what you're doing, Kaet. I even understand it. I'm just not sure how I feel about it." Brown eyes watched her, their depths deep and murky.

"If I didn't think you wanted this, Kaidan, we'd have already left." She responded quietly, watching him.

"I know." He agreed flashing a soft smile of gratitude in her direction. "I think the problem is, Kaet, I don't know what I want. I don't know if I want more from my family. I think part of me is still so angry at them that it never wants to forgive them."

She nodded slowly. "That I get, Kaidan. That I understand. I can see the question you want to ask them. I can see the anger you try to hide from them. I can see how it hurts you."

"There's no question, Kaet." Kaidan said instantly, too quickly for either of them to believe the denial.

She let the words hang there for a moment and then decided a change of subject was in order. "Since you have bowed to my greater wisdom…" She ignored the snorting laughter that came from him. "…you will have absolutely no problem using your biotics to catapult me into the ocean as I scream in delight like a loon?" Shepard blinked innocent blue eyes at him as if they weren't both aware that if he started tossing her there wasn't a child in a five mile radius who wouldn't demand their own turn.

Kaidan frowned. "You know, Shepard, there are times when you remind me of my mother. I'm not sure I like what that says about either of us."

"You ever say that again and I'm squashing your spider."


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard shoved her wet hair back out of her eyes, spitting ocean water as she surged from the waves, grinning. "That was the best one yet! It's like jumping off a mountain in the Mako, only there's no Mako and no cliff."

Laughing from his position on shore, still dry, Kaidan shook his head at her. "I think I'd known you less than a month the first time you did that. I was sure you were insane and that was exactly why scuttlebutt rumors said Brass wanted you to be a Spectre." He placed his hands on her hips as she stopped in front of him and brushed a kiss across her mouth.

Shepard laughed and looped her arms about his neck. "You want to know what the first thing I noticed about you was?"

A long suffering expression rolled over Kaidan's face. "I have a pretty good idea." He cupped her wet bottom in both hands.

Mischief twinkled in her eyes. "That weird bump thing going on with your hair." She stated surprising him. "That's where I had to look because you were a subordinate and your chest made your BDUs look waaay too confining. Like they wanted me to help you out of them."

He chuckled, shaking his head and then smiled. "Ready to go again?"

"Bring it on, big guy." She answered just before a blue corona engulfed her and she went shooting up in a curved arc toward the ocean again, a whoop of delight crowing from her lungs just before she hit the water feet first.

Laughing at her joy, Kaidan watched until she surfaced, grinning, and began to swim toward shore again.

"That is the coolest thing ever." A young voice said from behind him.

Surprised, Kaidan turned and blinked at the younger version of himself. "Hello, Kaid." He said with a polite nod of his head, all emotion contained.

Brown eyes, innocent and confident met their older, more universe wise counterpart. "What do I have to do to go next?"

Nonplused for a moment, Kaidan simply looked at him and then a slow smile curved his lips. "Think your stomach can handle it?"

"Just as well as any girl can." Kaid stated in determination, his gaze flickering to Shepard momentarily and then back.

"That's not a girl, Kaid, that's Commander Shepard, the reason bad guys don't sleep well at night." Kaidan answered with a laugh. "Ready?"

Kaid's expression lit with excitement and he clenched his hands, nodding. "Yeah."

The teenage boy went shooting into the sky, a distance not nearly as far as Shepard had been tossed and his scream of joy much higher pitched.

"My turn! My turn!" Several young children came racing out of the tree line near the shore.

Bemused, Kaidan stared at nieces and nephews and other children he thought might be cousins of some kind and a slow smile curved his lips.

Shepard was quiet exiting the water this time, her eyes on the steady stream of teens and preteens being steadily shot into the water, one right after the other, each landing in a slightly different spot. Snagging her towel, regretting that her own fun had been cut short, delighted at the reason why, she rubbed at her hair.

"You have a rather clear understanding of people, Commander." A soft voice said coming up behind Shepard.

She spared a glance at the petite woman who joined her, but didn't stop rubbing her hair. "Comes with the territory of commanding soldiers. If you're a good commander. You have to understand the dynamics of the men and women who serve under you quickly. Figure out who to put next to each other because they bring out the best and who to keep separated so you don't have an 'accidental' friendly fire death." She responded. "If you do anything to ruin what's going on down there, Mai, you are going to receive the attention of a very unhappy woman who has no problem punching those that annoy her."

Kaidan's oldest sister didn't even glance at Shepard, her gaze on the scene below. "How long can he keep that up?"

"Tossing them?" Shepard gave a shrug. "Until they're tired of it. Kids aren't that heavy and he's not throwing them out very far. Just a little launch. In combat, when he's covering my back, Kaidan can toss some pretty heavy Geth armaments and make them look like a feather floating on a breeze. He's very good."

"You don't need to be his cheerleader."

"I'm not. I'm his wife." Shepard responded in flat tones. "So think really hard about what you say about him."

"Is what you said to El true?" Mai demanded finally turning away from the squeals of children laughing and splashing and facing Shepard.

Shepard blinked. "I missed the turn on that one, Mai. You're going to have to go back and give me directions."

"You told Elspeth that those men…Conatix…engineered the whole situation with Kaidan so it would be easier to take him away. So we'd be happy to see him go. Is that true?" Mai repeated, her voice impatient, her hand gestures agitated.

Leaning her weight on one hip, Shepard considered the matter for a long moment and then gave a one shoulder shrug. "I've never looked for proof, but I've no doubt it's there. The Alliance was smart enough to know that biotics would be a key part of any military set to either defend against or coexist alongside any alien species. Kaidan's generation was some of the first human biotics, with most exposed to eezo having terrible side effects. Around ten percent of those exposed developed biotics. The Alliance needed every one of those ten percent that they could find, but they were children. You're a parent…what would you do if some strange men came to your door and said they were taking your children and you had no choice?"

"I'd kill anyone who tried." Mai's voice was husky with tears, her gaze back on the scene at the beach, but her attention on the man with a blue mist swirling about him.

Shepard nodded. "What if that child was dangerous? Could kill you with his thoughts? Could hurt someone…even himself…simply by a moment of lost concentration? What if they were taking your children because they wanted to 'help' them? To save them from the fear and the ignorance and persecution of other, less open minded individuals?"

Mai turned on her heel and left without another word.

Shepard blinked at the retreating figure, a slightly bemused expression on her face before she shook her head and snagged one of Kaidan's energy drinks from a cooler near her feet. He may be able to keep tossing the children up for hours, but it would help offset any headaches if he kept his calorie level up as well.

He grinned at her as she handed him the drink, watched the laughing children splash toward shore once more. "You're pretty smart, Shepard."

"A genius in my own mind." Shepard agreed, her eyes drinking in the pure joy he was expressing. "But, yeah. No kid is going to resist their own personal water park attraction."

"Especially if it defies their mother in the process?" Kaidan's smile dimmed a bit.

"I just spoke with Mai. She left…don't give me that look, I was polite." She glared at his raised eyebrow. "I was polite by _your_ standards, Alenko, not mine."

"Considering your idea of polite is a warning before you hit someone, that's a good thing." He quipped before taking a long drink.

Shepard opened her mouth to retort but was distracted by a soft brushing on her left leg. Looking down she saw a small female child trace her fingers over the long jagged scar she'd earned in combat against Battarian pirates.

"Owie." The child said, dark brown Alenko eyes looking up at her with concern.

Swallowing, Shepard smiled. "It doesn't hurt anymore. It's healed."

"Kisses make it better." The girl pronounced before pressing her lips against the scar tissue.

"Oh." Shepard said, her throat choking as the child skipped off as quietly as she'd come, her mission accomplished. Shepard watched the girl with fascinated eyes. "Can we keep her?"

Laughing Kaidan wrapped his arms about her waist, pulling her snug against him. "We could make our own."

For the first time that thought wasn't as scary as it had been, Shepard mused watching the child. "Let me think about it." She answered surprising him.

"Uncle Kaidan, it's my turn!" A boy complained tugging on Kaidan's shorts.

Kaidan grinned down at the boy. "Want to see something funny?" He asked with enthusiasm.

"Oh, sh….crap." Shepard muttered catching the note in his voice. She took off running toward the tree line.

The pull snagged her right off of her feet, launching her toward the water as the children laughed and Kaidan just grinned madly. Her thought as gravity pulled her under was that hearing those sounds made this completely worth it.

And she was still going to pay him back.

* * *

"Your mother is a biotic God."

Kaidan laughed handing Shepard a thick jacket he'd found hanging in the back of the foyer closet that he vaguely remembered as his from a visit here in his early twenties. Shepard's universal view of clothing consisting of armor, BDUs and sweats hadn't prepared her for the cold of a Canadian nightfall.

Shepard slid the jacket on, her gaze going appreciatively over the cream colored cable knit turtleneck he wore.

"She thinks things and they happen." Shepard continued letting him pull her to the ground near the bonfire where parents were playing musical instruments and children were attempting to toast marshmallows with varying degrees of success.

"You're going to have to clarify that one for me, Shepard." He laughed pulling her back against his chest, his legs framing hers as she leaned against him, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"We were playing in the water." Shepard's voice was bemused. "I looked around and suddenly there were tables. Then the tables had food on them. Then your dad was cooking on the grill thing. Your mom was in the middle of it, directing all of it like it was a battle and she was the Field Marshall. Only it's not a battle it was a spontaneous picnic that came out of nowhere and then turned into an all day thing. How do you _plan_ for things like that?"

"You have to have a plan for everything, Shepard?" Kaidan chuckled, his breath warm against her ear. "I thought your biggest complaint about me was I thought too much."

"Yeah, there's a philosophical answer to that, Kaidan, about not liking in others what we don't like in ourselves, but I'm really in too mellow a mood to go there." Laughter huffed against her neck moments before his mouth was on her skin sending a delicious shiver up her spine. "That will not help me keep a mellow mood."

"Yes, it will." He contradicted with an intense smile full of promise. "You'll just have this surge of…"

"Ewwww, they're kissing!" A young voice called out followed by a torrent of giggling.

Color surged up Shepard's face but Kaidan simply laughed and pulled her closer, his hands sliding under her coat.

"Stop it! There's kids around!" She hissed at him.

"Most of whom either have older or younger brothers and sisters and know more about sex than…"

"Don't say that word around them!" Shepard ordered, her blush increasing.

"Is Commander Shepard allowed to have babies?" One of the group asked, a scrunched frown on his face.

"No, stupid! They don't make armor for pregnant girls." Another answered with scorn. "How's she supposed to fight bad guys if she's got a kid?"

"Yeah…what if she popped that kid out right there in the middle of a fight? That would be so gross!"

Shepard stared at the children, dread and wonder in her eyes as she waited for what insights the little monsters would come up with next.

"I'm Commander Shepard and you're a Reaper and I'm going to kick your ass!" A slender girl made a gun shape with her hand and went after one of her cousins.

"Amber Marie! You watch your language!" A parent called out, the tone more rote than annoyed.

"But, Mom! Commander Shepard swears a lot! I'm Commander Shepard and I have to swear a lot, too!" The girl moaned back.

A fresh wave of crimson flowed into Shepard's cheeks as her forehead dropped to the silently laughing Kaidan's arms.

"If Commander Shepard wants some dessert, she'd better watch her language." The same parent retorted.

"Commander Shepard can shoot everyone and take all the cake she wants!" Amber Marie responded, her lower lip thrust out in a pout.

"And Commander Shepard can have a spanking before she gets sent straight to bed, too!" Now irritation was heard in the mother's voice.

"Now there's a thought…" Kaidan murmured in her ear.

"Try it and Commander Alenko will be sleeping in the tree house." Shepard retorted as she shifted away from him and stood. "Hey, Amber Marie, come here." She motioned to the child.

The pout transformed into a bright smile as the girl skipped over to her. Shepard leaned over and began to whisper in her ear as Amber Marie began to giggle, a hand covering her mouth.

"Please tell me you're not contributing to the delinquency of a minor." Kaidan said, his eyes on the curved backside in front of him.

"Contributing? No. Instigating? He…ck, yeah." Shepard grinned and sent the girl off.

Kaidan watched the child circle the tables as Shepard casually walked up to Amber Marie's mother and complimented her on the shirt she was wearing. Had his cousin known Shepard better she would have been immediately suspicious at any interest in fashion the Savior of the Citadel showed. A smile curved his lips as he watched Amber Marie snag two plates of enormous chocolate cake off the table before quickly moving away, her small hands trying to balance them.

Shepard finished her conversation quickly with a nod while grabbing a water and an energy drink from the beverages lined up on the table. By the time she'd returned to his side, Amber Marie was there with the cake.

Giggling maniacally, the little girl waited until Shepard was sitting before planting her rear on her lap.

"Oh, yeah, Shepard, she needs more sugar." Kaidan murmured shaking his head with a laugh.

"And that is how Infiltrators roll, Amber Marie. You sneak in during a distraction, secure your goal and get out before the enemy even knows you've been there." Shepard ignored him taking one of the plates. "Mission accomplished. Cake achievement earned."

"Don't listen to Commander Shepard, Amber Marie." Kaidan instructed. "There is no cake achievement in the Alliance."

"Are you telling me the cake is a lie?" Shepard demanded, humor brimming on her face as she took a big bite. "Damn, this is good cake, even if it is a lie."

"Damn good cake." Amber Marie agreed with a nod smearing frosting over her lips as she ate her own.

Shepard winced as Kaidan gave her an accusing look.

"MOM! Amber Marie has cake!" A boy's voice called with outrage.

"Damn good cake!" Amber Marie shouted back at him. "I infilled it! Commander Shepard helped!"

"The younger generation is doomed." Kaidan pronounced as several parents glared at Shepard.

Shepard snorted. "See, Amber Marie, Infiltrators do cool stuff. Sentinels like Kaidan here are boring goody two shoes."

"When I grow up I'm going to be an inflator!" Amber Marie pronounced.

"You've already started with Shepard's ego." Kaidan told her with a smile.

Shepard took a long swipe of frosting on her finger and smeared it on his face, grinning at him.

"If you weren't holding a five year old I'd make you lick that off." He informed her wiping at the streak.

Delight flared in her eyes. "If I weren't holding a five year old, I'd do it." She retorted and laughed at his reaction…some of which was physical.

Kaidan responded by stealing her cake off her plate and quickly moving out of her reach.

"Did you see that?" Shepard asked Amber Marie, mock outrage in her voice. "He stole the cake we stole!"

"He's a bad boy." Amber Marie agreed, glaring at him. "My Mom will spank you if don't give Commander Shepard back her cake! You're supposed to share!"

"Don't be dumb, Amber Marie." One of the younger boy's sneered at her. "If Mom tries to spank him, he'll kill her with his biotics. That's what biotics _do_."

Silence fell over the group, most of the parent staring fearfully at Kaidan, waiting for his reaction.

He swallowed. "Good cake." He said with a nod, his expression revealing nothing, as if being the center of a feared attention was normal.

"Only crazy biotics do that." Shepard's voice rang louder than was necessary to reach to boy who had spoken, her tone dismissive. "You want to know what biotics like Kaidan can do?"

The boy lost some of the fear the reaction of the adults had inspired and eased up under the very relaxed attention of Commander Shepard. "What?"

Shepard moved Amber Marie off her lap before crooking her finger toward him, her voice going low as he approached, as if she were sharing a secret. "They can fly." She whispered loud enough for most to hear.

"No they can't!" The boy shook his head. "I saw this vid on them on the extranet. They smash things and throw people out windows so they die. They can't fly!"

Somewhere behind Shepard, a woman gasped but she ignored the adult, focusing on the child. "I'll bet you he can." She dug into the pocket of her BDUs and pulled out a set of shimmering dog tags. "These are mine from when I was part of the Alliance. I'll bet you Kaidan can fly and if I'm right, Kaidan gets them. If I'm wrong, I'll give them to you."

The boy's eyes rounded as he stared at the chain carrying the biocode of the most famous human in the universe. "Okay." He nodded.

Shepard lifted her chin and looked at Kaidan, a challenge in her gaze.

His field kicked into play, misting about him, his dark eyes revealing nothing but not leaving the tether of her pale gaze either. The lift was more controlled after months of practice, a smooth rise straight up, nothing fancy. He hovered near the top of the tree, a glow of misty blue dark energy shimmering in the night sky before gently settling down on the sand once more.

"Nose." She said quietly moving in front of him upon his landing, blocking him from the view of most of those watching as cheers and eruptions of how cool and wild that was came from those watching.

Kaidan pulled a napkin out of his pocket, wiping at the blood quickly and thoroughly before Shepard stepped out of the way, holding an energy drink up for him to take.

"That was so cool!" Kaid said joining them, several cousins behind him. "I want a turn!"

"Did you know your uncle is the only L2 biotic who can do that?" Shepard asked with smirking pride. "He's as strong as an Asari and he has the control of a Matriarch."

"That's a bit of an exaggeration." Kaidan murmured to her in passing as he took the energy drink she offered and began to sip at it ignoring the bickering that had started among the children in front of him.

"The only reason he knows what a Matriarch is would be if the term came up in his holo collection." Shepard retorted equally low as Kaid's request was drowned out by the shouts of several more for the same treatment.

"Not every teenage boy has an Asari holo collection, Shepard." Kaidan told her with disapproval.

"He's related to you, isn't he?" Came the quick answer.

"Okay, Shepard, let's clear this one up." Kaidan crossed his arms over his chest, his expression unamused. "I was barely a teenager when I got those holos. That was a long time before I met you and you didn't even know they existed before yesterday."

"You have a holo collection?" Kaid demanded, his eyes bright. "Mom won't let me have one."

"You can have mine." Kaidan told him without looking away from Shepard.

"I told you to destroy those." Shepard's gaze narrowed, but her expression held more humor than ire.

"Yeah, you're not my commanding officer anymore, Shepard." He answered.

"I'm your wife…I still outrank you." She retorted, laughter twinkling in her eyes.

"You keep thinking that, Shepard." Kaidan answered with a roll of his eyes.

Chuckling, she planted her hands on his rear in their favorite positions and pressed at kiss to his lips.

"At least her aim has improved." Ken commented passing them as he took more wood to the fire.

Shepard jerked back, her face flaming red while Kaidan laughed. She glared at him until the crowd of children around him finally gained his attention and pulled him off to play.

"You're progressing much faster than I thought." Mrs Alenko murmured moving alongside Shepard, smiling at the display.

Shepard gave the older woman a slow considering look. "What exactly is it you hope to get out of this, Anna? We're here for three more days. That's it. Three days isn't going to mend what you've broken and it will never replace what you've lost."

Mrs Alenko met that steady pale gaze. "Do you live in the past, Kaet? Or do you ignore it?"

The question confused Shepard and she paused, giving them a consideration she normally wouldn't. "I…tend to ignore it. The past is the past. The tears of the present won't change the pain that went before."

"What about the joy that went before?" Mrs Alenko's question was genuine.

Shepard shook her head. "What you have here, Mrs Alenko, I never believed existed growing up. Ma, Pa, all the littlin's in a big ole circle singing Kumbaya." She gestured to the campfire and the families laughing and singing together. "This was a fantasy to me. I survived my childhood. Without a family."

Mrs Alenko's gaze moved to her only son. "He survived his childhood with his family. I am no more accustomed to failure than you are, Kaet, but I failed my son and that cost me more than you can comprehend as you are now."

Shepard gave her a considering look, her expression revealing neither shock nor compassion.

Mrs Alenko smiled. "I adore that when you're attempting to be polite you do it by being silent rather than speak your thoughts."

"Do you really need me to tell you that I agree with you?" Shepard gave a one shoulder shrug, her attention going back to the man in question. "But even agreeing that you failed comes with a caveat. The man he is today…" She jutted her chin towards him. "…grew from the boy you raised. I adore and love that man so I can hardly criticize your failure when, without it, I don't think he would have left this place he loves so much. If he hadn't left it, I would never have met him. Never loved him. Been loved by him. Your failure gave me the greatest joy I've had in my life." Clearing her throat on words that had grown husky with emotion, Shepard was careful not to look at the tiny woman standing next to her.

"Oh." Mrs Alenko said, the word a mere exhale of breath. "Thank you, Kaet. I…had not thought of that."

"I do." Shepard gave another one shoulder shrug. "You see, I firmly believe that had I remained dead, Kaidan would have mourned me and he would have carried on and eventually, he would have found someone else. I don't think he would ever have completely forgotten me…my vanity won't allow me to believe that…but he would have found someone else to love." She licked her lips. "Had the positions been reversed…had Kaidan died and I gone on, I would have remained alone."

"Perhaps not." Mrs Alenko murmured, but Shepard shook her head.

Slanting a self deprecating smile in the woman's direction before quickly looking at Kaidan again, Shepard explained. "I am very self aware, Mrs Alenko. I know my faults. I know my strengths. I know what gets me up in the morning and I know what helps me sleep at night. I never looked for your son because, like this place, this family, your treehouse…I never believed that was real so I never looked. While I wasn't looking, Kaidan pulled the best stealth move I've ever seen and got behind my walls and my barriers and my joyful solitary existence. I doubt there's a man alive who could have done as well as he did. I doubt any other man would try. He doesn't see Commander Shepard when he sees me, he sees Kaet."

"He sees his wife." Mrs Alenko murmured.

Shepard swallowed again. "Okay, we have to change the subject because if you make me cry it will piss me off."

Mrs Alenko laughed softly. "You aren't as hard as you like to pretend, Kaet."

"People sleep better at night if I pretend, Mrs Alenko." Shepard answered with another shrug. "So are you going to answer my question?"

The older woman pulled her attention from her only son to look at her only daughter-in-law. "I want very little, Kaet, and I want everything from this time you have given us." She laid her hand on Shepard's arm and squeezed softly. "I want my son to know he doesn't need to protect us by staying away. I want my husband to forgive himself for a choice we both made. I want my daughters to know we were wrong so they don't immediately leave a room when Kaidan enters. I want to be able to have a conversation with him that isn't carefully neutral on all subjects because we don't dare risk destroying what little connection we do have."

"You won't get all of that in three days, Anna." Shepard murmured, her pale eyes holding sympathy.

"No. Those are my long term plans, Kaet." Mrs Alenko's smile was determined. "In the next three days I want something very simple...a change in the status quo that my family has existed in for far too long. Things you have already begun changing simply by being who you are. A demanding, willful woman who prefers that the universe conform to her wants and needs rather than have her bend her will to conform to it. You love my son unconditionally and you demand that all others do so as well or give you a good reason why not."

Shepard snorted. "You presume that I would accept any reason as good enough."

"No, Commander Shepard." Mrs Alenko's smile was intense and full of Machiavellian joy. "I am counting on there not being any reason not to love my son that is good enough for you."

Shepard watching the older woman walk away, her expression thoughtful and not a little alarmed. The woman had done it again. She had been so sure that she was aware of all the threads and motives being woven into the basket of events Mrs Alenko was weaving only to find out it wasn't a basket the woman was weaving at all but a tapestry.

* * *

"Okay, time for sex."

Shepard blinked at her husband as she hung her jacket up, her expression amused. "And to think I told them they were wrong when they said you'd lose all of your romantic streak after we were married." The words were droll.

Kaidan locked the door to his bedroom, his expression intense but amused as well. "This is a virgin's room in my parent's house, Shepard. It needs to be…" He paused as if searching for the appropriate term.

"Unpurified?" Shepard asked with humor. "Did you want me to participate or just lay back and think of the Alliance?"

"I want you…" Kaidan murmured, his hands about her waist, his nose at her throat. "…to take a shower. You smell like campfire." He stepped back and sneezed slightly.

Shepard burst into delighted laughter and began stripping off her smelly clothing. "You're not exactly sunshine and daisies yourself, Prince Charming." She tossed them into a pile near the door. "How long have you had this little fantasy of having sex in your parent's house?"

"Give me a minute…I'm trying to remember when I first learned what sex was." Kaidan stripped off his shirt lobbing it in the same direction as Shepard's clothes.

"Would it have been around the time you started putting Asari on your walls?"

"On second thought, let's not go there."

Shepard shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I'm going fishing with your father in the morning. If I'm going to be murdering slimy invertebrates by impaling them on less than sanitary hooks, I am going to need my sleep." She headed past him toward the bathroom.

"Do I need to make you promise not to grab my Dad's butt while you're fishing?" Kaidan asked, smiling as he followed her, enjoying watching her as she flipped knobs in the shower and hissed at the initial cold spray.

"You could come with us and make sure." Shepard responded before shoving her head under the water. She was not at all surprised when she pulled back to find he'd joined her.

"On the best of mornings, Kaet, you are an absolute nightmare." He grinned as he said it. "I often wonder how you survived life in the military hating mornings as much as you do. There is no way I'm going to subject myself to that willingly just for some fish."

"But your dad is fair game?" She laughed again as he began lathering soap on her shoulders.

"He's a big man, he can fend for himself."

"So this wouldn't at all be an attempt by you to avoid having any alone time with your father." Shepard questioned and mourned the playfulness in him that was replaced by a sudden tension.

"How about we not discuss my father while naked in the shower?" Kaidan offered, his hands moving to more interesting places.

Shepard stifled a sigh and let a smile lift her lips. "Let me guess…this is a virgin's shower and it needs to be sacrificed for the greater good?"

He laughed, the sound turning smoky as the humor on her face became a flush of desire. "We'll get to the bed later." He promised.


	4. Chapter 4

Stifling a yawn, Shepard opened her eyes, checking the chrono display on the wall and wondered why she had ever thought getting up this early was a good idea. Kaidan was right…she hated mornings and since becoming Captain of the Normandy, had had no problem inflicting that intense dislike on others. Chambers had learned really quickly that perky in the morning would get her scrubbing toilets with Gardner in the afternoon. Screw being a fair and loving Captain. In the mornings, if she didn't kill you for talking, it was a sign of affection.

She flicked off the alarm before it could sound, not wanting to wake Kaidan. She had a compulsive need to set an alert to wake her but had never actually slept long enough for one to go off. Even in her days in basic, she'd awaken before first call…even before 'surprise' drills. Kaidan found the trait 'weird, but in a cute way' as he put it.

Speaking of…Shepard smiled as she gazed down at the man next to her. Sleeping on his stomach…something she, as a busty Amazon, envied…arms all sprawled out because he was a bed hog of the worst kind, his hair mussed up from going to bed wet, the sheet shoved to his waist.

Was she doing the right thing? Was it really her place to mess with the dynamics of his family? A family she'd been introduced to three months before. Really, what did she know of families? What if she messed things up in her less than subtle way?

She'd asked Mrs Alenko what she wanted out of these remaining days…maybe she should have asked herself that question first.

It just wasn't fair, dammit! Why couldn't they see what a wonderful man he was? How could they think he'd hurt anyone…let be a child…when he'd gladly take a bullet meant for a complete stranger? Could they really watch him play with his nieces and nephews and cousins and still believe he would do something to hurt them?

She could see how much it hurt him when they walked away or said something stupid. How whenever his father was near he was so painfully careful to show nothing but polite interest or laughter, hiding any deeper emotion. Hiding the tension and buried anger she could see because she knew him so well.

His father wasn't any better. The same signs she had seen in Kaidan she had glimpsed in Ken Alenko. They both treated one another with the same politeness mortal enemies with weapons of mutual and massive destruction did. Laughter and carefree when others were around and never be alone in the same room where you might actually have to have a conversation with one another.

She had a feeling that what Mrs Alenko hadn't said she wanted was what she wanted most of all…her husband and her son to be something more than strangers.

Gah…couldn't she just save the freaking universe again? Maybe come back from the dead again? Something _easy_?

She hadn't been here, she was completely biased in Kaidan's favor and to have any sort of success she would have to understand what had happened. The only ones who could tell her were the very ones who did not want to talk about it.

But was it her place to ask those questions? To poke and prod at old wounds?

Gah, she was tired of thinking about it. Tired of feeling. As far as vacations went, this one sucked. Give her a merc base crying for oblivion any day.

Scrubbing her fingers over her face, she looked down at the naked expanse of his back, the subtle rise and fall as he breathed, the play of sculpted muscles. Unable to resist, she rested her fingers on his back, tracing the lines and curves as if to capture them permanently in her memory, smiling.

"There a reason you're tickling me?" The man mumbled into his pillow.

Shepard jerked her hand away with chagrin. "Sorry! Go back to sleep." She whispered and shifted off the bed.

As quietly as possible she dressed in her BDUs and stomped into her boots only to hear a soft chuckle from the bed.

"That isn't going to keep you warm." Kaidan murmured.

He'd turned on his side and even now watched her through sleep smudged features and dark eyes.

Shepard gave a one shoulder shrug. "I'll be fine."

"Take the jacket."

"It smells." Shepard wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "I've been cold before, Kaidan, I'll be fine…"

"Take the jacket or I'll suggest to my mother that you need to go clothes shopping this afternoon."

Scowling, Shepard jerked the jacket on, glaring and muttering in his direction every few seconds. His expression as he watched her never changed from sleepy amusement even as she stomped toward the door.

"Awww, no kiss goodbye?" He chuckled already shifting to lay claim to her half of the bed as well as his own.

Shepard returned to the bed, climbing on it, her knees straddling Kaidan's waist, her pelvis deliberately making a strong, slow stroke as she bent over him, her mouth all but attacking his own. She took no prisoners, her tongue diving deep, stroking hard as her lips rubbed against his. Her teeth nipped with an edge that was exciting more than painful, demanding a surrender from him he was more than willing to give. Once she felt him change from sleepy indolence to intense demand, she pulled back and scampered off the bed once more.

"Sleep well, Kaidan!" She called cheerily shutting the door behind her.

Aching, wanting, Kaidan glared at the door before turning onto his stomach once more and viciously punching his pillow in frustration.

* * *

Still laughing, ignoring the thrum and throb of her own body's wants, Shepard entered the kitchen with a bounce in her stride.

Kaidan's father was bent over in the fridge again…a fact she knew for certain only because she'd just left her husband naked and hopefully regretting he wasn't coming with her.

"Oh, no. I'm not falling for that again, I don't care how close it is to your birthday." She declared in final tones.

His laughter was an older, deeper version of what Kaidan would sound like and it gave her another tinge of regret for not staying in the nice warm bed with him.

Ken righted himself, deep blue eyes looking at her through creases of amusement. "Can't say I didn't try." He gave a mock sigh of regret and took a flat of eggs to the stove. "Hungry?"

Shepard thought about the warm, welcoming man in her bed and exhaled her own sigh of regret, a sound more sincere than Ken's had been. "Sure. But I'll settle for food." She clamped a hand over her mouth and flushed red. "Really, my mouth does have an off switch. I just can't find it."

He laughed louder and began cracking eggs into a pan. "I don't imagine you're encouraged to find it very often. It would be a shame, were that to happen. I think my boy is smart enough to enjoy your honesty."

A sour expression curled Shepard's features. "Depends on whether I'm supposed to be playing nice or not. Usually with the Council." She flipped a dismissing gesture with her fingers. "I'm not really sure 'enjoy' is the word he'd use, either. Maybe 'tolerate' or 'resigned'."

Ken glanced at her. "I think you're either exaggerating or misunderstanding. Or don't know Kaidan as well as you think."

"I know him better than you do." The words snapped out before she could call them back and she frowned in consternation. "I'm sorry. That was more…bitter than I expected it to be." An actual apology from her was rare but like this one, heartfelt.

He smiled at her, the corner of his mouth kicking up in the one sided grin that his son used. "I think you're entitled to a few shots, Kaet. You've had to put up with a lot of drama since you arrived."

"If I thought it would work, I'd bang your heads together until it started making sense." Shepard rubbed her forehead.

"If I thought it would help, I'd have done it already." Ken answered, turning his back to her.

Shepard watched him move, struck again by how much physically he and Kaidan looked alike even as the calculating part of her mind decided to press the matter, encouraged by his open nature. "You retired from the military when Kaidan was a baby, didn't you? Moved here?"

"I think he was two or three, but yes." Ken nodded sparing her a glance as he added bacon to the eggs he was frying up. "Why?"

"Why did you retire? You've a lot of years left." She tilted her head, watching him carefully.

He laughed softly. "You like to go for that kill zone, don't you?"

She frowned in confusion. "Was it a kill zone?"

Another half smile kicked up one corner of his mouth as he glanced back at her. "Do you know when the term biotics was coined?"

"Okay, that's a bit of a dodge but I'll play along." Shepard searched her memory. "Not sure, probably several thousand years ago somewhere in Asari Land."

"Do you know when we learned that Asari existed?" He continued.

A dark scowl had Shepard looking pouty. "Sometime right before Kaidan hit puberty."

Ken laughed and nodded his head. "Boy was obsessed with them. These beautiful female looking aliens who could do exactly what he did."

Pale eyes narrowed. "When did you learn what biotics were? And that Kaidan was one of them?"

Ken scooped eggs onto a plate before turning and looking at her. "Sometime right before Kaidan hit puberty." The words were ironic and bitter.

Shepard licked her lips slowly, considering what he had said…and what he hadn't said. "You retired from the military because of Kaidan."

Ken washed his hands in the sink, rubbing them a bit longer than was necessary. "We knew he was special from the day he was born. The things he could do…nobody else could. Anna and I even guessed that it was her being exposed to eezo that gave him the ability. Then we started hearing about other children, other people, involved in that crash or downwind of it. People dying of cancer and other horrible things." His voice caught and he turned his back to her, stirring the bacon. "We didn't know how long he'd be with us. I didn't want to be stationed somewhere off planet when something finally happened."

"Oh." Shepard murmured, staring uninterestedly at her eggs. She had grown up with a basic understanding of biotics that had only increased during her military years. Kaidan's parents had been on the frontier of that knowledge, not knowing fact from fiction, horrible reality from urban legend, watching as their only son grew, waiting for him to start showing the signs that other, less fortunate children had not only shown, but died from.

"He was a happy baby. Loved everybody, everybody loved him." Ken continued. "Anna was a bit protective of him. Didn't like letting him out of her sight for too long. Boy was stubborn, though. Determined to go his own way, but he'd do it in polite enough a way. Gets that from his mother."

Shepard studied the tall man, her expression growing more confused. "I don't get you, Ken. The more I think about it, the more it doesn't make sense to me. That a man who would give up his career to be with his son would be the same man that gave him up to complete strangers years later. That a man who built that tree house for his son would be the same man that won't be alone in a room with him for fear they might actually have to have a real conversation." She leaned forward, shaking her head. "The more I try to understand you, the less I understand you. The more I think this whole idea is impossible."

Ken mulled over her words for a moment before loading a plate and sitting near her at the table. "Anna's been encouraging you, hasn't she?"

"Wow, that was a completely polite way of saying she's a manipulative b…busybody." Shepard said, obviously impressed. "I'm going to have to remember that one."

Ken gave her a long study and then returned to his cooking. "He almost killed her, you know."

Shepard went completely still.

"The pregnancy wasn't easy. The eezo side effects for Kaidan were a gift. For Anna…they were not." Ken continued, ignoring her lack of response. "She lost weight, was sick the whole time. Kaidan was born a healthy boy, but he sucked all that health from Anna. Giving birth nearly killed her."

"How is that Kaidan's fault?" Shepard asked, her silent battle for a completely neutral tone won at a hard cost.

The question went past Ken, unacknowledged. "Took her years to recover. Mai stepped up to try and take care of Kaidan but she was just a baby herself."

A muscle twitched in Shepard's jaw but she licked her lips, the movement slow and deliberate and utterly controlled to pacify the storm of rage gusting in her soul.

"I hated him for a lot of years because of that. His biotics had nothing to do with it." Ken continued.

"So that's why." A low, stark voice said from the doorway.

Shepard whipped about, her expression paling as she took in the image of the sleep tousled hair, the casual pajama bottoms and worn tee. "Kaidan." She said his name, searching desperately for something to follow it. A joke, a rude observation, something to fill the silence and lift the angry despair in the brown eyes she loved so much.

Ken faced his son, his expression rueful rather than guilty. "Kaidan, that was a long time ago…"

"That's why you sold me to them!" Kaidan snapped the words across the kitchen, flinging them like knives. "That's why you let them take me to Jump Zero, because you hated me that much."

"Sold?" Shepard asked, confused, her attention moving between father and son like a ping pong ball match. "The men from Conatix…"

"Families of biotics were given 'compensation' for having their children taken to Brain Camp." Kaidan snapped, not looking at her. "I don't know the exact numbers, but I know it was enough to pay for both Mai and El's college degrees."

"It wasn't 'selling' you to them, Kaidan." Ken's voice was disapproving. "Don't be dramatic."

"Dramatic?" Kaidan repeated the word, his own tones low and angry. "You're right. There's nothing to be dramatic about here. No surprises, after all." He shook his head, his gaze slanting toward his wife. "You were right, Shepard. I did have a question. I did want to know why Mom and Dad let those men take me. Why they sold me to them like I was a prize horse who could do fancy tricks. I have my answer."

"Kaidan, I think there is more to it…" She began, rising from the table, her hands reaching toward him.

"You want to know something, Shepard? You're not always right." That pronouncement made, Kaidan left the room, heading back up the stairs.

Shepard tossed an expression full of consternation back to Ken before taking off after her husband.

Kaidan had stripped off his shirt and tossed it into his duffle and was now shoving more clothing after it when she entered. "We're not staying here."

"Kaidan, there has to be more…" She cut herself off as the duffle crashed across the room, flung by angry hands.

"You had to push, didn't you?" He demanded rounding on her. "You can never leave things alone, can you? You always have to be right and it doesn't matter who you hurt to prove it."

She flinched back, biting back the sharp stab of hurt, telling herself he was upset. That he had a right to what he was feeling. To help him she needed to set aside what she was feeling and focus on him.

"Kaidan, if I thought you didn't want a relationship of some kind with your parents…"

"Shepard, maybe if you had had a real mom and dad instead of being hatched in a Petri dish in a science lab somewhere, you'd know more about relationships with parents." He cut her off, the words biting.

Kaet went completely still. Her eyes blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb those words coming from the only man she had ever let get close enough to her to hurt her this badly.

Without a word, she turned and left the room.

Kaidan swore viciously, shaking his head, cursing himself and the tears he'd seen rise in her eyes. Without intending it, his attention fell onto the action figures he'd collected as a boy, looking at how they so easily, so effortlessly protected the women they loved from harm instead of being the cause.

A sweep of his arm scattered them off the bureau and sent them flying across the room.

* * *

There was no shooting range here.

Shepard mindlessly wandered through a field she wasn't entirely sure how she'd ended up in. Her thoughts kept spinning around needing a shooting range and there were none near enough for her to use. A shooting range, her Widow in her hands, targets falling, clips ejecting. If she had those things, everything would be alright.

Right?

Closing her eyes, her feet never stopping in their constant need to move away, she wiped her fingers over her cheeks, smoothing the wetness there.

She just needed a plan. She just needed to understand the problem and then she could plan a resolution and everything would be fine. She could fix this, she could. She was Commander Shepard, after all. She could…

Awww, she _hurt_.

Deep and throbbing, like something inside her had been ripped up and stomped on.

She just needed to step back and not make everything about her. She needed to understand and then she could make everything better…

A low groan began in her gut that she quickly silenced as she headed toward the nearest tree line. The first tree she found sturdy enough, she began to climb, the soldier in her, the sniper, demanding that she find high ground so she could see the approach of all enemies.

Once settled, her body curled tight and close to make her less of a target, she buried her face against her knees and let the thoughts simmering in her head rise to the top.

Kaidan was right.

She did think she knew what was best for everyone else. She did her best to make things the way she wanted them to be, not caring about the damage she did in the process.

Hadn't she thought it herself? Wondering if she had a right to mess in the dynamics of his family? Only she'd convinced herself that she knew best and eventually they would thank her for what she was doing.

Instead she'd done permanent damage to the thing she valued most in her life…her relationship with Kaidan.

She'd known she would do this. She was terrible at personal relationships. Oh, she would try and for a while everything would run smooth but then she'd do something to mess it up. Then she would try to use logic to figure out all the parameters, anticipate the actions of the others involved and then plan accordingly…all the things a smart soldier would do when trying to have success doing her duty.

At which point she would be called a cold-hearted bitch and they would walk away leaving her confused as to why her plans hadn't worked.

"Kaet."

She flinched, so caught up in her own thoughts she hadn't heard him approach. So much for the high ground.

Looking down, she could see the colors of his jeans and tee more than she could actually see him. Feeling safer knowing he didn't have a good line of sight, she settled back against the tree.

"I'm not ready to talk to you yet." She had to clear her throat, bluffing her way through the husky sound of tears.

"Then listen." There was more of an order than a request in his tones and he seemed to realize it. "Please."

"I really don't need any more lectures today on how I've failed as a wife, thank you very much." She sniped before pressing her fingers to her eyes. She really just needed to not say anything at all. Quiet had always been her protection, her barrier, and she really needed that security right now before more words she didn't mean to say came boiling out of her mouth.

"Then how about you listen to how I've screwed up as a husband?" He countered.

"Oh, I could listen to that all day." She snapped back quickly before smacking a palm to her forehead. "I didn't mean that." She said, the words forced. "Kaidan, I can't listen to you right now. I need to figure things out."

"If I let you figure things out, Kaet, you'll have figured out how to build back up that wall you like to keep between you and everyone else." The words were plain, his voice holding pain. "I'm not saying you don't have a right to shut me out…I'm just asking you not to."

Her eyelids sank closed. "I can't promise that, Kaidan." The words were a mere whisper.

"Please, Kaet." There was a grief in the words, as if he were already mourning the death of something between them. "Come down out of the tree and let me tell you I'm sorry."

"Kaidan, there is not a damn thing you could say to me to get me out of this tree right now." Her words were more weary than angry.

A pause of silence came from the man below, as if he were debating something and then finally he spoke.

"Kaet, did you know spiders live in trees?"

She was not going to react to that. That was blatant manipulation, playing on her dislike…not _fear_, just dislike…of spiders. Spiders might well live in trees but they wouldn't want to mess with her. Unless she'd disturbed their webs in her climb up and they wanted revenge.

Cursing him and her own stupid phobia, she scrambled down from the tree and, not meeting his gaze, slammed her fist against his shoulder, knocking him back half a step.

"How dare you say that to me?" She demanded, her gaze finally furious on his. "You know how I feel about spiders and you used it against me! I trusted you and you knew that saying that would make me hurt and you did it anyway!" She stepped away from him, closer to the tree, but not close enough to touch the bark.

"Yes, I did. I'm sorry, Kaet…" He tried to step closer but she held him off with a hand.

"I tell myself that you were upset. You didn't mean it. You were mad at your dad, not me and you know what, Kaidan? _I don't care_." She shoved a hand through her bangs. "I am petty enough, shallow enough to say there was no excuse for you saying what you did."

A half smile curled his lips. "You're right. I did know it would hurt you and I said it anyway. I'm sorry, Kaet. I wish…" His words trailed off and he wiped at his forehead. "I'm not as good a man as you seem to think I am, Kaet. I'm sorry."

She lifted her chin, facing him down. "Then you go make it up to me." She pointed back to the house.

He stilled. "What?" The word was careful as was the question, as if she had deviated from some planned conversation path.

"If you're sorry, you'll make it up to me. You go right now, sit your father down and you talk to him about what happened. No mom there, no me there to ref, you go talk to him. No more confusion, no more half stories. Just the whole story the way your father lived through it." Shepard gained a paltry satisfaction from the anger that flickered briefly on his face.

"This is about you and me, Shepard. Not my father." He said in even, controlled tones. "In fact, I would rather leave my father out of our lives."

"Which is exactly why you're going to go talk to him." She flung back. "Yes, I'm being a pushy bitch. Yes, I'm trying to prove I'm right. No, I don't have any right to tell you how to deal with your father when mine was a test tube. So I'm going to say this is my payback. This is me punishing you for what you said to me."

Anger flashed through his expression and was controlled, the clenching of his jaw his only tell. "And how is that supposed to settle things between us, Shepard?" The words were a demand.

"It isn't!" She snapped her pale eyes stormy. "It's supposed to make me feel better at your suffering! It's me making you hurt because you hurt me!"

He inhaled a deep breath, looking away from her, calming himself. "There are other ways we can resolve this, Shepard."

"I am _Kaet_ to you." The name was hissed at him, her fists clenched. "And guess what, Kaidan? You don't get to have a way out this time. You followed me. I told you I wasn't ready to listen and you pushed it. Fine. I listened to your apology. Now listen to my conditions for accepting that apology."

"This isn't a war, Shep…_Kaet_!" His control snapped and blue mist flared about him. "I am not surrendering! Why is everything a battle strategy with you? Why can't you be…" The last word was snapped off, his face paling slightly as he stared at her.

Beautiful in her fury, she lifted her chin with pride and smiled at him, the gesture a weapon more than a conciliation. "Normal?" The word was soft and all the more vicious for it.

Kaidan turned his back on her and returned toward the house once more.

Kaet's defiant expression crumpled, tears streaming from her eyes as shaking fingers pressed against her lips. She sank to the ground, ignoring the dampness of the morning dew, her knees against her forehead, her arms covering her head and simply mourned.


	5. Chapter 5

Ken was washing dishes in the sink and gave Kaidan a brief look of surprise before finishing the dish in his hands and setting it in the drainer.

"You're leaving?" The words were neutral at best.

Kaidan struggled for a civil response, his thoughts crashing about. His guilt and his anger at war with what he wanted and none of it leaving him a clear course. "Kaet has asked…" The words strangled and he lost them.

He didn't want to listen to his father. He wanted to go back in time and never agree to come here in the first place. He wanted to hold his wife in his arms and protect her and promise he'd never again do anything that would bring that look of anguish to her face or those tears to her eyes.

He wanted to clench his fists and pound something like a thirteen year old boy, screaming to know what he'd done wrong, why he was being punished this way.

"You said something to her." Ken mused, his gaze out into the scene through the window above the sink. "I saw her leave. Saw her looking a little beat up."

"Stay out of my relationship with my wife." Kaidan snapped. "You're the reason…" He cut the words off again, struggling for calm, for logic.

"It wasn't fair. What Anna expected of her." Ken continued, ignoring Kaidan's words. "What we expected of her." Light colored eyes looked at the younger man. "Including you, son."

Kaidan sucked in a breath as if he'd just been sucker punched in the gut.

His father was right. Kaidan had accepted the invitation to come here counting on Kaet being her usual self, battling through any and all objections to him and his biotics and then he'd taken it out on her for doing exactly what he wanted.

Rubbing his forehead, Kaidan sank into a chair at the kitchen table and simply shook his head.

The kitchen was quiet for a moment and then Kaidan felt something cold rest near his elbow.

"Better drink. Nothing burns calories like fighting yourself." Ken murmured before sitting down across from him. "You get a headache and that wife of yours will have more than one reason to be upset."

Kaidan opened the energy drink and took a long swallow.

The silence wasn't…oppressive, he thought, as he stared at the label on the bottle.

"So your Kaet sent you to me." Ken finally spoke again, the words almost reluctant.

"She wants me…" The words were angry and he bit down on them, controlling them.

Ken smiled. "Never easy, is it? Loving a strong woman."

"She believes there is more to the story. That I should listen as you try to justify what you did." Kaidan finally snapped out, resenting that his father in any way could identify with him. "That somehow something you have to say will justify you hating me."

The expression on Ken's face never changed, his lips curving in a slight smile. "Smart woman, too. Knew that the first time I saw her duck out of a hallway to avoid your mother on that ship of yours."

"It's her ship, not mine." Kaidan bit out and then pulled back, startled, at the depth of emotion in the words.

Her ship, not his. Like he was being kept by her simply because they happened to live there most of the time. Like he couldn't provide for her a home good enough to match what she already had and therefore he was a failure.

Kaidan groaned softly and buried his face in his hands.

"You've been married three months, son." Ken's deep voice carried through his misery. "Give yourself some time to figure things out."

"Stop talking to me like you understand!" Kaidan told him, anger at himself lashing through to the man in front of him. "You don't know me. You sold me when I was a kid because you hated me. Because it was easier for you to send the freak away rather than have to pretend that you loved me."

Ken studied his son for a moment and then flicked on his omni-tool, his fingers tapping a sequence that brought up a display. "This is what convinced me to let them take you. Not money. Not others opinions."

Kaidan frowned slightly at the medical diagnostics he could see displayed. "I've seen these before. This is an advanced terminal case of eezo exposure. They showed them to us at Brain Camp. This is what the cancer in the system of a dying child look like. Cancer as a side effect of eezo instead of biotics. They told us we were lucky to have survived, that this could have happened to us."

"We were told these were your scans." Ken said quietly.

Kaidan's brown eyes stared at his father. "What?"

"You had a medical appointment, routinely scheduled, nothing special. It just happened to have occurred four days after I told those men in suits that they couldn't take you." Ken continued, his gaze impassive as he looked down at the scans. "Your doctor brought us these out and told your mother and me that your eezo exposure had finally grown cancerous. You were dying. He showed us these scans as proof."

"That's not me." Kaidan said, confused, his gaze moving back and forth from his father to the scans.

Ken shrugged and shut the omni-tool off. "We know that. Now. Then…well, it was what we'd feared since you were born. When those same men in suits came back a week later and said they could cure you if they took you with them…" Another shrug moved his shoulders.

Kaidan stared at his father. "Cure me? I wasn't…that wasn't…" He ran a hand through his hair, emotions too strong to win the war with the confusion rising in him.

"We didn't learn the truth until after you helped Kaet save the Citadel." Ken continued, his fingers rubbing a pattern in the table top. "Your doctor…a man I had continued to trust with the lives of my wife and my daughters…mentioned during a routine examination that I was probably grateful how you'd turned out. That it was a good thing he'd shown me false scans since you'd saved so many lives."

"What?" Kaidan whispered the word.

Anger, low and old and burning hot, showed on Ken's face. "Yes. I was supposed to be grateful that I'd fallen for a pack of lies and sent my son off with strangers to a place I could not protect him. It was all okay because you saved the universe."

"But…I don't…" Kaidan closed his eyes, shaking his head. "You hated me…"

"I did, when you were born. But it didn't last." Ken agreed with a faint smile that held equal mixes of pride and shame. "You weren't about to let it and you're as stubborn as your mother. Every time I turned around, there you were. You'd try and bring me a drink and end up spilling it all over yourself or me. You'd try to watch news reports sitting next to me, telling me how much you loved watching them when you'd be asleep after about two minutes. You hated the taste of tomatoes but if you saw me eating them, you'd force yourself to do the same all the while telling me how much you loved them."

"Why would they do that?" Kaidan finally demanded, focusing on the one part of the conversation that wouldn't stab at him with memories he'd long shoved to the back of his mind. "Why would they lie to you, pretend that I was dying so they could take me?"

Ken laughed, but there was more bitterness than humor in the statement. "Maybe you should spend a bit more time believing your wife when she talks about how strong you are, Kaidan. The things you can do with your biotics? The skill you had as a child? You were the brightest, the strongest, the one everyone else was shown as an example. When other children couldn't move a pencil, you were making your sister's toys dance for them. They noticed and they were determined to have you, Kaidan, no matter what."

"So you let them take me." Kaidan said, but the words lacked the hostility of his earlier accusation.

Ken shook his head. "Not until they told us they could cure you. That it was better that you live with them than die with us."

There was a part of him that wanted to deny, to accuse his father of making the entire story up, a part of him that wanted to remain the victim, the strong man who had risen above the disdain of his family and become stronger for it. The man who had lived through Brain Camp, who had seen firsthand what those in charge were capable of, couldn't deny the truth.

"They said they'd let us contact you. Let us know when the surgery to correct the cancer would take place. Let us be there for you." Ken continued, quietly. "Then the excuses started. You couldn't respond, you were in therapy. You were in a coma, healing. You had woken up, better, but couldn't be upset and any contact would set your recovery back. You'd suffered a setback. They had excuses for everything and when we stopped believing them and began demanding to see you, we were told you had requested no contact with us and they would honor that."

"_What?_" Kaidan gaped at his father. "But…they told me that you didn't want any contact with me. That you'd been paid money and that if I wanted to go home you'd have to pay it back and you didn't want to do that."

Ken's smile was bitter. "When you finally did come home we were warned to watch out. You'd killed a turian with your powers and were unpredictable."

Kaidan slammed his fists against the table and shoved back. "Those bastards. It was their fault! Their stupid program…" He scrubbed his fingers over his face.

"They'd had you roughly five years, Kaidan." Ken said quietly. "They took a brilliant, beautiful boy full of laughter and returned a cold and distant stranger who moved like a ghost through the house. When you responded at all…which wasn't often…you were bitter and so angry. Your mother and I couldn't reach you. So when you told us you were leaving after only a few days, we let you go again. This time we had no better idea than the first if you'd ever return."

Kaidan's mouth opened, to say something, anything, but the months after killing Vyrnnus, after seeing Rahna look at him with fear, were such a jumble of confusion he couldn't trust his perceptions of anything in that time frame.

"Mai and Elspeth will come around. Already have, to some extent." Ken said, his gaze on his son. "Your mother has tried for years to connect with you. To come to know her son again."

"You haven't." Kaidan snapped, bitter.

Ken lifted his chin, facing his son squarely. "I let them take you, Kaidan. I let them keep you. Because I wasn't there to protect you, you were placed in a position where you were nearly killed and had to kill to defend yourself. I wasn't going to force you to forgive me for any of that."

Because he had yet to forgive himself, Kaidan comprehended as he really looked at his father for the first time. Saw the man who had condemned himself far harsher than Kaidan could ever have done for not being there when Kaidan needed him and for far longer. What Kaidan had seen as indifference, he now saw was simply Ken Alenko doing his best to make sure he didn't ruin what little relationship there was between Kaidan and his mother. The way Kaidan had hoped to use Kaet to bridge the gap, Ken had been doing the same for years with Anna.

Shaking, Kaidan sat down once again, and simply looked at his father.

What was it Kaet was constantly commenting on? His need to protect people had been established long before Brain Camp and Rahna and while his mother may have formed some of it, the balance would have been something he'd observed in someone else. Something he'd actively tried to emulate. Something he'd loved about his father.

Which was why it had been such a bitter betrayal when his father had failed to protect him.

"Dad…" Kaidan began not knowing what he was going to say.

Ken's face burned crimson as his eyes grew wet and he tried to control the entire mess. "That's the first time you've called me that to my face since I let you go." The words were gruff.

It couldn't have…Kaidan paused, searching his memory and finding a shallow truth. "I'm sorry, Dad…"

"Don't." Ken held up a hand, his expression fierce. "You've nothing to be sorry for. You did the best you could."

A soft, uncertain smile kicked up the corner of Kaidan's mouth. "That doesn't mean I can't do better."

An awkward silence settled in the room, both men trying to come to terms with the new and different dynamic in a relationship that had grown far too comfortable with silence and blame.

After a long search, Ken finally cleared his throat and spoke. "So was this the quest your Kaet sent you on?"

"Quest?" Kaidan repeated, grateful for something to focus on.

Ken gave a slight smile and a slow nod. "Some men have it easy when the woman they love demands that they prove it. Go slay a dragon or recover some lost mystical item after traveling through various perils. Then there's the women like your Kaet. The one's who could go kill the dragon themselves and think pretty trinkets are all fine and dandy but they'd rather have something more practical. The ones who won't ask for something to be easy, they'll just ask for it to be meaningful."

Kaidan stared at his father, thinking about the argument with Kaet. "I never thought of it as a quest." He said in wondering tones. "She said it was a punishment for what I'd said."

A quick bark of laughter, subdued almost as quickly as it had been given voice, escaped from the older man. "She's not exactly going to tell you it's for your own good, is she? That won't get her what she wants, not unless she convinces you it's for some other reason." Ken snorted and then the sound turned uncertain, as if he were worried the words would offend so he quickly moved on. "You with that love of heroes and adventures you had…all those books and vids you used to go nuts over…I would have thought you'd catch on quicker." Ken abruptly shut his mouth and pulled back in nervousness, his expression saying he wished he could call the words back.

Laughing, reassuring him, Kaidan nodded. "Yeah, well, my white knight armor is a bit tarnished right now."

Ken's smile was genuine and contained a warmth Kaidan hadn't seen…hadn't looked for…in a long time. "I don't think your Kaet minds. She's the type that will just get out the polish and start helping you clean it up." There was a faint, self-deprecating smile, as if Ken had far more experience than he'd ever expected in that regard. "Whether you like it or not."

"Can I go with you tomorrow?" The words surged from Kaidan as color bloomed up his cheeks. "Fishing. Or maybe working the horses?"

The smile on Ken's face grew as his eyes became moist again. "I'd like that, son." He said quietly and then laughed. "Just make sure you grovel with your wife first so she'll allow it."

Kaidan rubbed his forehead again. "I messed that one up, Dad."

"Look on the bright side, son," Ken grinned at him. "This is just the first one, you've an entire lifetime with your Kaet to learn that there's more you've messed up."

Laughing, Kaidan shook his head. "That's supposed to be the bright side? Maybe I should just agree with everything she says and avoid this in the future."

"No." Ken gave a negative shake of his head. "I tried that. She'll just get mad that you're agreeing with her and you'll argue over that."

Kaidan stared at his father and then buried his face in his hands. "I am doomed." He muttered and smiled as his father laughed.

* * *

In the hall just off the kitchen where she could hear every word, an older woman watched as a younger entered the house quietly from the front door. Both showed signs of emotion, the older still had tears trailing down her cheeks. The younger tilted her head to the side, the question silent.

The older mouthed the words 'thank you' as male laughter was heard from the direction of the kitchen.

The younger nodded thoughtfully, a bittersweet smile on her lips and she continued up the stairs.

* * *

She wasn't in their room.

He'd hoped and feared at the same time that he would find her even knowing that he had to talk to her. Had to touch her, had to breach the walls he knew she had erected between them once again. Walls he was so damn tired of having to scale to find the woman he loved behind.

But he'd helped build them, this time, hadn't he?

Emotionally drained, Kaidan ran a hand through his hair and looked about the room, searching for some kind of inspiration. A bark of laughter exploded from him as he saw that the action figures he'd scattered across the room in his anger had been placed back in their stands with a minor variation.

Instead of each male warrior facing the bad guy to protect the woman he loved, the woman was now protecting the man, facing the evil without hesitation.

That was his Kaet, subtle to the extreme.

Kaidan scrubbed his hands over his face, the laughter turning bittersweet before his hands moved the actions figures about once more.

* * *

Okay, she'd had about enough of this.

Shepard flicked her cloaking field on and moved swiftly behind a tree, circling around the person who thought they were discreetly following her. She knew it wasn't Kaidan because she'd made damn sure his stealth skills, while they would never be stellar, would at least be acceptable. By her standards. Whoever this was, they had a lot to learn if they ever expected to live in a combat situation and they had picked absolutely the worst possible day to try and provoke her.

The teenage girl…Mai's youngest…Shayla?...entered the small clearing in the woods, a frown on her face as she looked about, searching.

Okay, whatever twisted obsession the child had needed to be done. She had one Conrad Verner in her life, she didn't need another.

Shepard moved up behind the child and let her cloak field die.

"Look, honey…" She began in hot tones.

Shayla shrieked, jumping as she turned about, her right fist snapping out a quick punch and then following up with a second before she realized who she had just hit. Twice.

Shepard stumbled back, the blows completely unexpected and fell on her butt, her fingers rising to her swelling mouth.

All color drained from Shayla's face as she looked down at her bleeding idol and then took off at a sprint.

Shepard gingerly touched her left eye, feeling the bruise already beginning to form even as she tasted the metallic tang of her own blood from her torn lip.

Her laughter, genuine and perversely delighted, echoed in the clearing.

* * *

Mai caught Shepard near the treehouse, her eyes searching for and finding the bruised eye and swollen lip. A grim expression firm her own features.

"Shayla would like to apologize for what she did." The mother began in terse tones.

Shepard paused in her march toward the house again and crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing Mai suspiciously. "Then why are you here?"

Displeasure thinned Mai's lips further. "To make sure there are no repercussions for what she did."

Shepard gave a loud snort and smiled, ignoring the wince of pain in her lip. "In everything you've ever heard reported about me, Mai, name once where it said I abused children."

Color flushed in her cheeks and Mai couldn't meet her gaze. "I thought…because I have not been very welcoming…"

"Please." Shepard waved a dismissing hand. "I am perfectly capable of tormenting you for your actions and can leave your family alone."

Wry humor curved Mai's lips, almost unwillingly. "No. I didn't suppose you would go after Shay. I simply wanted to make sure."

Shepard touched her lip. "Child's got a wicked right. There are mercs in the universe who haven't been able to knock me on my ass nearly as well as your daughter did."

Mai frowned. "Really, I must ask you to be more careful with your language around the children. Amber Marie has become nearly impossible."

Okay, that was channeling Mrs Alenko a little too well right there, Shepard mused.

"Amber Marie and I have plans to sneak her on board the Normandy and go pirating together." Shepard responded, her pale eyes flashing with humor. "I get a pretty cool kid and I don't have to go through the whole pregnancy and labor bit first. Or smelly diapers. It's a win-win for me."

Mai laughed involuntarily. "I think Amber Marie's parents might object."

"Eh, they've got a million others. They'll forget." Shepard waved a hand in dismissal.

"The way my parents forgot Kaidan?" Mai finally asked, her tones bittersweet.

"More the way you did." Shepard responded, the humor sharp, her expression still smiling, but her eyes now intense.

Mai looked out to the beach, the waves crashing against the sand. "Have you ever loved someone so much, Commander Shepard, that when you lost them it literally broke you? That the only way you found to survive, to cope with that loss, was to blame them for leaving? To hate them for staying away?"

Shepard shook her head slowly. "No." The word was soft. "Kaidan's the only one I've ever loved that way and I try damn hard to make sure he's safe."

"I'm talking about a child's love. Unreserved and uncompromising. You loved Kaidan as an adult. You already had your protections in place. The walls you hide behind to make sure you have someplace to go when things don't go quite the way you want them to." Mai didn't quite dismiss the claims, but there was a derision of soft proportions in her words. "The way you're hiding now because he dared to hurt you."

"I won't discuss my relationship…" Shepard began.

"Of course not." Mai bit out, her brown eyes angry and so much like her brother's it hurt. "The great Commander Shepard is too good for mere human emotion. Human flaws. Human mistakes. That's just for us lesser mortals."

"I've had about enough of the Alenko attitude today, Mai, so if you…" Shepard began in grim tones.

"I want to show you something." Mai interrupted and abruptly moved to the ladder of the treehouse.

Shepard blinked at her, trying to comprehend just when she had lost control of the conversation and why the hell she was bothering to continue it. Finally, with a sigh, she rubbed a hand over her forehead and followed the older woman.

Mai was kneeling near the back wall of the treehouse almost in the exact same spot Kaidan had been sitting when Shepard had found him their first day here. There was a carving, something on the wall that the oldest Alenko child was tracing with her fingers.

"Amber Marie was very upset when she saw this." Mai said softly, not looking back. "She was concerned that Kaidan had spelled your name wrong. She's five, but she's very smart and she has Commander Shepard toys all over the place. We had to explain that Commander wasn't your first name. Kaet was."

Kaet frowned moving closer. On the far wall, carved in the trunk of the tree itself, was a heart shape surrounding initials. The top were KA, a plus sign below them. The carving was smooth and weathered dark as if they had been made years before and worn well with the passage of time. The initials below them were a sharp contrast, the pale yellow of fresh wood, obviously recent. KS.

Shepard's eyes filled and she remembered when she had come up here, searching for Kaidan, he had been leaning against that exact spot, hiding the carving, but he'd been cleaning his knife and putting it away. He'd carved the initials then.

"Everyone made fun of him. Tormented him. We…I made home life difficult for him." Mai said quietly. "He would come here and he would dream of the woman he would love. Who would love him. She'd be beautiful and frail and need him more than anyone else in the universe. She would never argue with him, never yell at him because of what he could do. She'd love him in spite of it. She'd be brave enough to stand by his side, no matter what hate was flung his way. He carved this because he was already waiting for her. Waiting for the day he knew the initials to add."

"Boy, did he draw from the wrong apple barrel." Shepard said with bald emotion, wiping at her eyes, shaking her head. "I am not that woman, Mai."

Kaidan's older sister smiled. "No. You are rude. You are foul mouthed. You are confrontational and have no idea how to back down or negotiate. It must be your way or you'll beat the path clear to having it your way."

Shepard rolled watering eyes. "You're confusing me with all these subtle hints about my character flaws, Mai, really you should just spit it out." The words dripped sarcasm.

Mai looked at Shepard for the first time since entering the treehouse. "The moment you arrived you were protecting him. You were defending him. You were challenging anyone and everyone to dare complain about Kaidan to you or in front of you."

"Soldiers take care of their teammates." Shepard said automatically, the words rote. "They watch each others backs and make the team strong. It's their greatest duty because when the team is strong, the mission is accomplished."

"No matter what?" Mai asked quietly. "Even when it's one member of the team attacking the other?"

"Shit, I have two Mrs Alenko's in my life." Shepard scrubbed a hand over her face. "I thought you didn't even like him. Why would you care…"

"He was my brother before he was your teammate. Before he was your husband." Mai cut her off. "I did not do my duty as his sister, I did not protect him. I didn't even give him the benefit of the doubt. I just wanted him gone because it made my life easier. I don't want you to make the same mistake."

Shepard frowned. "The same mistake? You just went on about how I protected him…"

"Mother is worried that the cost of Kaidan finding peace with the family will be the peace he has with you." Mai said quietly. "You're fighting each other right now. You don't know how to compromise and Kaidan…if he feels it is his fault…will do exactly what Dad does and step aside deciding that whatever happens is no less then he deserves."

Mouth open, Shepard stared at Mai. For a long moment there was nothing and then she closed her mouth, shaking her head. "When I grow up, I want to be Mrs Alenko." The words were more to herself than to the confused woman sitting across from her. "So, let me get this straight. You want me to forgive Kaidan for being a jackass?"

Mai frowned. "Your language could use some improvement. My mother could discuss…"

"No." Shepard stated in flat tones. "End of the subject of my language." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Why do you care, Mai? You've been a bit…pain ever since we arrived."

"I'm tired of waiting for a day that won't come." Mai answered in simple tones. "I miss my brother."

Shepard studied her. "He misses you, Mai." The words were soft.

Mai smiled and nodded, a tremulous smile touching her lips. "The woman Kaidan dreamed of when he was here was nothing like you. But that woman could not have done what you have. I don't think it was even hard for him to give her up so he could carve your initials here."

Shepard swallowed. "Eh, she probably had blue skin, anyway." The words were husky. "Thank you for showing me. I don't…wouldn't have found it on my own."

Mai caught Shepard's arm as she crawled past her toward the ladder and squeezed. "Thank you for bringing my brother home."

Shepard didn't watch her leave, her gaze on the initials so freshly carved into the wood. The fulfillment of a boy's dream.

"Idiot." She whispered, finally moving to the descending rope rather than climb down the ladder.

Even she wasn't sure if she meant herself or Kaidan.

* * *

By nature, she was a private person.

The parts she allowed others to see were carefully measured, carefully doled out with all the care of a miser and his gold. There were few close friends but quite a lot of teammates and people she liked to hang with when she needed people in her life and needed the noise and the laughter to drive away dark memories.

Her childhood, her years running with a gang, early life in the Alliance, call the source what you cared to, the results was a woman who reacted to strong emotion by closing any hint of her own off. If she was hurting, no one was allowed to see. If she was angry, that was okay. Anger was an accepted emotion. If she was happy, hey, why not share it?

She puffed out a sigh, staring out at the ocean from her front view seat on the sand, her smelly jacket bundled about her to fight the cold she was still shivering from. Next time she came to Canada, she was going to wear her nice, climate controlled Kestral armor, she mused with a faint smile before returning to her original train of thought.

If someone hurt her, they were cut off. No more access, no more opportunities to hurt her, not another chance to make the wound deeper. A whole 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me' sort of thing. With them not allowed any more access, she would remain safe behind her walls.

A place she never wanted to be with Kaidan.

Kaidan had hurt her. Yeah, he'd regretted it immediately, but even that hadn't soothed the pain. Did she have enough trust in her to let him have a second shot? Even when the logical part of her said this would happen again. He would hurt her again, just as she would hurt him, with something stupid or something deliberate.

As a soldier, she would let it pass from a teammate and be wary from that point on. Duty demanded it of her, that the team get along to make the team strong so the mission could be completed.

As a wife?

An ironic smile touched her lips as she rubbed her forehead. Assuming there was a next time. Mrs Alenko had seemed convinced things were better between Ken and Kaidan, but that could be temporary.

And wasn't she just a cheery little ray of sunshine?

A blanket settled over her shoulders, warm and thick, startling her momentarily. She looked up unsurprised to find her husband standing there, uncertain and looking as if he were poised to run if she gave the slightest indication that she wanted him gone.

"Uhm…you looked cold." He said, a hand rubbing over the back of his neck. "You need to be careful. A cold…and sick and…everything." He closed his eyes with a grimace. "I'll go."

"Biotics give off a lot of body heat." Kaet said abruptly, knowing if the words weren't shoved out of her mouth they would remain unspoken and he would leave. "I could use some of that right now."

Hope flickered across Kaidan's face. They both knew that if she was angry she didn't allow others to touch her.

"I'm a biotic…" His expressions looked pained again and he shook his head. "Which you know. I really didn't think I could be more of an idiot."

She smiled and shrugged out of the blanket, holding it up to him. He wrapped the huge material around his shoulders and settled behind her, his thighs on the outside of hers as she shifted back against his chest and let him wrap his arms and the ends of the blanket about her.

For a long time they said nothing. The lull of the waves splashing against the shore giving them both peace as Kaet warmed and settled even more solidly against him, as if her body craved the touch and was finally getting enough.

"I finished your quest." Kaidan finally said, his body tensing slightly. "Talked to my dad, I mean."

Kaet smiled. "And how'd that go for you?" The words were light and eased him.

"You were right." There was a wry note in his voice. "There was more to the story."

"He built you a tree house, Kaidan." She responded with a shrug. "What you were telling me and what I was seeing didn't mesh."

"I'm sorry that I said what I did." The words were quiet. "There's no excuse…"

"Forgiven." Kaet cut him off, turning slightly, her face toward him. "You think I don't know what happens when you attack a soldier? He fights back." She flinched hearing her words and the echo of his accusation against her about constantly being at war. "I can't help that my instincts are those of a soldier, Kaidan. I'm sorry if they…"

"No." He cut her off, turning her about so she could see his face. "Kaet, asking you not to react like a soldier would be like someone asking me not to use my biotics ever again. It's who you are. It was a stupid thing to think let alone say. If you were to stop being a soldier…stop thinking of your duty first and all else second…I don't think I'd recognize you anymore." The last was said with a laugh.

Kaet gave him a curious look, tilting her head slightly. "You don't get it, do you, Kaidan?" The words were a bit puzzled. "My duty is you and has been for a long time now. Preserving what is between us…marriage, love, a life together, whatever you want to call it…that is my mission."

Confusion played across his face, the stubbled jaw clenching. "Then why risk what we have for my parents, Kaet?"

"To make you happy. I weighed the risk against the gain and decided taking the chance was worth it." The words were simple and cut him to the core, making him flinch.

"Geez, I messed us up bad." His voice was husky and he couldn't meet her gaze.

"Yeah, I took a couple of rounds for the home team." She agreed with a nod, her attention never leaving him. "I imagine that at some point you're going to be taking a few rounds from me. But the mission won't change, not for me, and that is what I focus on. I can either hate you for what you said and it will break things between us, or I can let it go and you and I will come out stronger for it."

He clutched her to him, burying his face in her neck, his breath hot on her skin, and simply held her. She slid her arms around him and smiled, listening to the words he whispered, the anguish and the emotion of the day sliding toward a resolved peace, leaving the quiet happiness she found only when she was with him.

* * *

Later, as they both stumbled quietly into the bedroom, Kaet laughed, her gaze on the action figures she'd so pointedly replaced for him and had since been moved yet again. Kaidan chuckled and held her tighter.

Instead of the man protecting the woman from the dark forces of evil, they stood side by side now, facing it together.


End file.
